[LemonFresh]

Sometimes I just feel so stupid because I don't know as much as another person does I always struggled in school and had low grades in math and some other studies because of my mental illness issues.and my dad always made me feel so bad about myself for the bad grades he would belittle be because of them and it gave me such a confidence issue. It is very hard to get over this issue I have and makes it hard for me to get ahead and go to college because I don't know if I will be smart enough to make it or if I will just fail like my dad said I would.I need some self esteem advice to help me get over this large mental road block.

[Frankbtl]

Hi LemonFresh, I'm sorry your dad doesn't seem at all supportive with your education (and probably some other things too?) and let's face it he should probably take some responsibility for your grades too. If you're feeling knocked down, not good enough, then you aren't going to be doing as well as you could are you?
Perhaps you could talk to him about the way he's making you feel (if you haven't already!!). It could be that he's just trying to push you, wants the best for you, but doesn't know how to do that in a way that's actually going to help you. Or perhaps he just doesn't understand how hard things are for you or the effort you're trying to put in.
You could also talk to some of your teachers/tutors about how they feel about the prospects for college and whether it will be right for you. They might be able to give you some extra support as well in working towards that possibility. If it is a possibility though try not to "force" yourself into it, if your mental health issues need more attention first/need to be your priority. You will seriously not have failed if you need to defer college for a while to focus on you. If you're seeing a pdoc or T they might be able to help you with that decision too.
But whether you go to college, postpone it or don't go, just remember that there's a whole lot more to people than whatever academic "smarts" they have or don't have. There is so much more to you than that aspect. With confidence/self esteem issues it can be really hard to see the positive aspects of yourself, but they will be there!!
And whatever form they take e.g. maybe you're understanding towards others, maybe you're adaptivve, maybe you've overcome/overcoming/managing problems relating to your mental health, maybe you're caring about people who matter............whether they're any of these or any other things if you really reflect there will be plenty of things that you should feel good about, that you should feel proud of.
And sure there will be some things that don't work out in life, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you've failed at them at all, it might moreso mean that you're just finding the right path for you. And if you don't try things then you are going to be really limiting your life, and it's not going to be quite as much without the occasional risk.
And just you being you (while you're putting yourself/your well-being first) is more than enough, with everything you have going for you (a bit of reflection remember!! ) no matter what anyone might tell you.
But if you want to talk some more..........
Alison

[gayleggg]

Hi, LimonFresh. My dad did the same thing. I hated report card day. I would try to get my mom to sign it and hoped he didn't ask. I graduated with mediocre grades and was just glad I passed. But I had had he enough of his critisim and got married at 17. I didn't go to college and it took me until I was in my mid-forties that I realized I was smart enough to make through college, only depression set in and I could barely function. If I had it to do over, I would have given college a try no matter what my dad said, but took years before I learned what would interest enough. Now I'm about to be 62 and really wished I had tried it.

I raised my daughter to think there was no option but to go to college. She got her Masters in Educational Counseling. She turned out to be everything I always wanted to be.

You can do college no matter what your dad thinks. You just have to believe in yourself and have a dream.