work and self-esteem

My self esteem dropped after I was having panic attacks on the way to my job one year and then could not go to work anymore. I then was in a minor car accident so I was recovering not only self-esteem but also physicialy through physical therapy. My self esteem was and still is in disrepair. I did notice better self-esteem or perhaps healthier ego when I took care of myself hygiene and appearance.

I feel like some days I can present a positive external image but internally I know I need to have a better relationship with myself in general. I know I am worthwhile, kind, lovable, wise, I just want to be able to share these qualities and be myself. I would like to find appropriate challenges and not be so afraid of people. I thought about working in the store but then I had anxiety about people looking at me, or judging me. Also I don't belong to a gym and mostly work out through walking and occasional yoga class.

I would love to feel better about myself, like I deserve the right to be alive and to be cared about by others, and to be feeling happier with myself, so that I feel healthy and confident to work at another job. I really do enjoy painting and learning about art therapy, just would like to find a good paying job so I can pay my bills again. Any thoughts about how to get past failures and develop a better relationship internally? Or with returning to workforce?

Hello, fineday1.

Tips for Building Self-Esteem | Psych Central

I wish you well.