[kala83]

so this is getting under my skin I have a lot of things in my life that have contributed to myself esteem issues a lot in the past and also right now.

but I am making myself have a more positive outlook on things in my life so that I can have a more hopeful out look on things.

What I don't understand is. When I do this there is always a voice in my head saying are you really sure? Are you sure this relationship is worth fighting for? Are you sure you will keep the two jobs you have now? are you sure you want to do this? Am I really as pretty as he says I am? I don't feel pretty today?

these kinds of thoughts keep floating about in my head and it annoys me to no end. Why is it I can think in a positive way but then I seem to question it.

my thought is I am so used to being around negative people that question lots of different things a lot.
so its a habit that I obtained from when I was young from my family.

[bluekoi]

kala83, Yes you could have learned to endless question things due to what your family taught you when you were young. It is great that you are learning to be positive! When you find yourself questioning, remember positive = good/happy
& negative = bad/unhappy

[Newbie12]

I was taught a lot of things were bad and I was going to hell if I did them so I understand what you mean.

I had philosophical issues with everything, I decided that I didn't believe everything I was taught. But, I would occasionally question something as small as buying a lottery ticket. I would question what I wore, thinking or feeling pretty because I was vain.

I think it's easier to deal with or even stop once you recognize that you're questioning it and that you always have been. I just realized that I question everything and why. I have become more genuinely confident just from that. I'm not cured of the questioning but it's a lot better. Good luck and listen to yourself, you know how you really feel.

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by kala83

What I don't understand is. When I do this there is always a voice in my head saying are you really sure? Are you sure this relationship is worth fighting for? Are you sure you will keep the two jobs you have now? are you sure you want to do this? Am I really as pretty as he says I am?

At that point I would say to that voice (probably a replica of one of my parents) YES! And I would repeat my YES every time the critical/parent voice comes up to chanllenge me - like dealing with an obstinate sales person UNTIL it finally gives up. In my case, the critical parent voice (from bad parenting) has finally given up!

I don't feel pretty today?

Many people complain that they do not FEEL any better after doing a little bit of Self Esteem work so they give up and go back to the more comfortable FEELINGS of bad self esteem that they are USED TO.
As for me, I was no longer willing to tolerate the bad self esteem that I'd lived with for years and years since being infected by my dysfunctional parents, so I TOLERATED and ENDURED the discomfort of learning and using better self esteem concepts and feelings in the serious belief that I would somehow WIN in the end and I DID! The ugly crap my ignorant parents and others filled me with is now mostly gone and whenever it returns, I now know exactly how to back their crap down and reclaim my right to healthy, happy Self worth/respect/esteem. The fight was well worth it!

Why is it I can think in a positive way but then I seem to question it.

IMO, this is due to automatic thought/feeling AND an unconscious loyalty to the people who PROGRAMMED you to feel so bad about your self.

so its a habit that I obtained from when I was young from my family.

Yes, that's it! Now it's up to me to fix my self, and I did!
good luck,
jim