[winterglen]

I did pay my cable bill last month. Doesn't matter, because today I got an angry letter saying that I didn't, and I have to pay double the amount RIGHT NOW.

I'm 99% sure that it's because I did something wrong: I made some mistake on writing the check or I put the bill in the mailbox wrong so it didn't get collected. Why am I so stupid?

I hate that whoever collected the bills now thinks I'm a delinquent customer who simply decided not to pay for service because I'm selfish and irresponsible. That person must be thinking that I'm just another entitled moron who never does anything productive in her life. I hate that anybody who knows about this bill is just going to label me as a horrible person who deserves to be put in jail.

But I guess I haven't learned my lesson. I'm still f*cking up. The only way people can deal with a *****-up like me is if they scold and punish me and make me feel like the stupidest, most disgusting person alive.

Hello winterglen: I'm sorry you're experiencing so much sorrow over this situation. In my experience, these kinds of situations are pretty common. It's perfectly possible the cable company lost your bill! When we run into these kinds of situations, we find that calling the company & discussing it with them (without getting into an argument) is the best solution. Mistakes happen. What they want to know is that you're paying attention & you'll see to it that whatever needs to be done, from your end, will be taken care of.

[sherbet]

And people don't go to jail for forgetting a cable bill That's because our society doesn't think it's that awful a thing to do.

It's OK, most people have done it at some point. Isn't it possible that whoever collected the bills thought "Oh, that's a bummer they forgot." Or this just went into some computer and no one thought anything of it at all?

I used to be convinced that every time I made a minor mistake or screwed something up everyone involved knew what I knew: that I was a disappointment. For example, I told my therapist once that my professors likely realized that I finished writing the paper 5 minutes before deadline. They awarded a decent grade out of pity/because everyone else screwed up too. She said, "That's what your professors are thinking about? They're putting up a photo of you on the bulletin board in the staff room as we speak, 'Girl who wrote paper last-minute.'" It's silly, but it worked.

They put up a copy in corporate headquarters of your bill with your name next to it, in big letters: "Delinquent, no-good, entitled customer." Right?

It sounds to me that you have strong feelings about making payments on time and you have disappointed yourself. This is a good character trait but you're being too harsh. And those people at your cable company aren't disappointed in you.

Try to imagine your friend paid a bill and it didn't go through. Or forgot to pay it. Would you really think much less of them?

[BeYou]

You are not that bad!! And come on - everyone makes mistakes!! Be easy on yourself! Stop beating yourself up. It is a not a big deal. Call them up, explain what happened and you will be ok!