[LifeIsCruel]

I am wondering how many people's poor body image and low or lack of self esteem are linked?

I welcome advice, stories, and experiences.

Many thanks!

[Little Lulu]

On days when my brain is where it should be - knowing the goodness in my life and the world around me - my physical appearance isn't an issue. When I am engaging in negativity (and not taking the time/effort to be aware of my abundance) is when I am most likely to be dissatisfied with some aspect of my body or health.

Thanks for this topic - it is an interesting thread.

[buzz bee]

Here's the thing about self esteem. If you have it, your vain. If you dont have it you have low self esteem and viewed poorly. What is one to do? There is nothing wrong with a dose of self confidence.

With me personally, it depends on the company I keep and the situation. I have much more confidence in myself since I started going to the gym. I feel good, I look good, and Im healthy so I feel confidence seeps out. Im not cocky, Im just happy.

[offthegrid]

I've gone through periods of up and down as far as my body image goes. Right now, my appearance is on the back burner since there are other things going on in my life for me to be insecure about. I have less body image issues when I'm concentrating on other things and because I'm more put together in terms of my style. It kind of comes in cycles I suppose.

[norwegianwoman]

I think I have realized lately how my bad body image is affecting me a lot more than I thought.

I am a bit overweight. I never really thought I was, I always considered myself "normal", but when do you pass that line? I weigh more than most boys I know. It has been like that for years and years, though, but it's really getting to me now that it's not how it is supposed to be. I have always been heavy-set, in a way, always been very strong etc., and honestly when I look at myself in the mirror I don't see fat, not at all. But I am slowly starting to notice it. I have been bothered by aspects of my body for a long time - cellulites, increasing stomach fat (I used to just have thigh fat, which is healthier), my breasts have gotten bigger in the last few years, etc. But it has started to occur to me more and more lately that I have probably progressed into being overweight, at least a bit. I don't think people would think that of me, especially not if they saw me with my clothes on.

I love food, I love beer, I love chips. And I hate excercising. Or, it's not so bad when you actually do it, but... I hate gyms. I truly do, and probably always will. Feel much more in my element when I am outside, but there another problem arises: I have asthma and allergies, this causes me to get a rash while running etc., my body itches and I get red spots all over. This sometimes happens after a shower aswell so it might be a temperature thing. But generally I believe I am just lazy. I have never lost weight in my life, just slowly gained since I was little, so to be honest I don't know how to do that. Where to start. I am one of those people who get impatient if I don't see results right away. And I am NOT willing to give up f. ex. beer or various kinds of food, then I'd rather have a few pounds too many.

My self-esteem is not so bad, I think I am funny, intelligent, not awful-looking. But still I don't see myself as someone people feel attracted to, I basically never flirt, and I am afraid of taking the initiative with people when I have the chance. The last time I did I felt awesome afterwards, I'd taken control and it had worked, but generally I think I at least sub-consciously think that no one would want to be with me because of my BODY, not my mind. I think it affects my general confidence and self-esteem more than I ever realized.

[anothercliché]

This is only my opinion, but I say it depends on the person in question. I'm one ugly guy, I have no delusions about that, but it doesn't play into my self esteem at all. I have low self esteem (I think, I don't have the psychological knowledge to understand the topic fully) because I am terrible at everything, have no talents or skills, and have yet to accomplish anything nor improve myself meaningfully. My looks are at most a cherry on top of this bitter sundae, and I don't really care for cherries.

[SmileHere]

I've had poor body image as a teen and had really low self esteem, even though (or because) I was a (mostly) straight A student.
After I embraced myself as I am (with the help of books etc) and had friends and a boyfriend who loved me as I was, and changed my wardrobe a bit etc. I had much better body image and self esteem.

I hated exercise and spent too much time online/on computer/sedentary, and ended up with neck/back and other problems (and possible lack of career). The fashion also changed, and I got older... So now I've had body image and self esteem issues again, but not to the extent as in my teens, there's more self-acceptance now, even if I was probably 'prettier' and healthier then.

When I was translating catalogues, an older colleague always wrote 'attractive' if jeans were especially 'hideous' - torn, ugly, no idea what good to write about them! so if those jeans can be 'attractive', I can be 'attractive' too! It's just a label!

NorwegianWoman, some guys find even overweight girls attractive, you sound like an awesome human being, wishing you luck and fingers crossed for you!!
Plus your skin won't get wrinkled if you have a bit of 'extra' weight!!

anothercliche, a friend knows a guy who she says is ugly, but is terribly attractive for women, he treats them wonderfully and they love him!

Wishing luck, self acceptance and love to everyone else here too!!