[mountain human]

I've really started to have doubts about the importance of high self-esteem as a goal. I hear more and more about self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, and self-compassion. Buddhist call it "Metta". Maybe I need to be able to love myself before any of my other issues can be resolved. Any thoughts? Self-esteem or self-compassion?

[jelly-bean]

I believe that if you "love" your self then you hold your self in very high esteem. It is one and the same.

[Eva_Star]

When you hold yourself in high esteem you are more compassionate to yourself, more accepting. Just think of it as how you are with other people..if you hold them in high esteem you are more accepting of them, flaws and all. We should treat ourselves the same way we treat those we love the most.

Really good question, mountain. I think of self-esteem as being made up of two parts. One is love for ourselves - do we believe all humans are worthwhile creatures? - and the other part is made up of the self-confidence we gain from doing things.

[boutingTurtle]

^that.

self-esteem and self-worth develop as a direct result of being kind to ourselves, compassionate to ourselves and forgiving ourselves.

i'm learning to do that VERY slowly.

i used to think it was all just 'self-esteem' but it's the sum of many parts that fall into place.

and once those parts fall into place we realize that we feel just a tad bit better about ourselves than we did the day before.

[Overcoming OCD]

I think that self-esteem is one particular culturally constructed approach to liking yourself. That doesn't mean it isn't real, just that it's one way of looking at it. If thinking of it more according to the Buddhist framework works for you, then go for it. =)