[Caveman]

Hello, my name is Oliver. I'm 18 years old and I'm 5'4, 167cm tall or should I say "short".

As you can imagen my height is really the largest downfall on my self-esteem. A man, I'm not a man, I'm not taller than most women, and it's really hard to face that. I'm that short, but my mentality is still of a man.

When I started ground school, I suffered from The Napoleon Complex, and I think I might still be doing so. I was always picking fights with the bigger and taller kids to try and prove to myself that I could be cool and "dangerous" and respectable, but what happened? What happened was that I become very cocky, and the bigger kids decided to put me in my place, all the way down on the social ladder. I became bullied for 2 years in ground school untill the bigger kids had moved on to Gymnasium, and from there on I have lived with very low self-esteem.

Today, I still feel like I want to go outside and find a big guy and start a fight. I'm not a wimp, I know this but I havn't really proved it to myself. I've been through so much crap and I think of everyone else as weak because they have been given a piggy ride by their height while I've been walking in the mud because I couldn't reach the rope.

I honestly don't think I would be where I am today if I was taller, and where I am today is not a good life. I've been sitting infront of a computer 24/7 for the past 4 years.

I keep thinking of ways to somehow redeem my pride that I lost so long ago. Can I become a Cop? No because I'm short and I have Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, OCD and god knows what more. Can I become a Boxer, UFC fighter, no because I'm short and here in Sweden every one is 6 feet. Can I become a soldier? No because of my diagnoses and autism.

So, what do you want me to do? Pretend that being short is awesome and avoid reality? I keep playing these video games, where I can be someone else and actually feel awesome for a little bit, but then I step outside of my room and get reminded about my crap life and how short and powerless I am.

I have so much anger built up inside me. I want to go outside and scream my lugns out and destroy something. There is an animal living inside me.

What I would give and do just to grow a few more inches is beyond this world. It's a curse to be male and short, the curse strips you of everything that makes you a man.

[Perna]

Yes, our handicaps, perceived or otherwise, make things harder for us but they also make things interesting and give us something to work with. You are a certain height. My stepson is 226cm, can't do/be any of the things you complain about not being able to do/be but has constant intrusive questions about his height thrown in by strangers everywhere. His wife has to enter into some stores with double doors first and tell him when it's okay to straighten up? He has to bend, look at the ground to get in.

Who YOU are is not dependent on what you look like. You get to decide who to be, what you will do. If you want to chase after situations where your height would make things difficult for you and not helpful to me (army, police, etc.) you can choose to spend your time banging your head on that wall but why? You're like the rabbit trying to climb a tree in a contest against squirrels.

American football loves short running backs because all the other guys are taller and have a harder time getting "down" there to tackle someone that size, assuming they can see/track the guy coming with everyone around him being taller so they block the view. Too, closer to the ground as they are, they're harder to knock off their feet, their center of balance is better/lower.

A lot of lovely women are your size; think about that for a moment. You're the "right" size for them! No woman likes feeling overpowered and looked down upon! I stand on a step so that my husband and I fit well together in one another's arms. Otherwise I have to talk to his chest

Sitting in a chair and working on a computer, no one knows/cares how tall you are or aren't? If you can answer another person's questions, solve a problem for them, your height is the last thing on their minds! My stepson uses his height (and bright red hair) to remind people they "won't forget him" nor will he forget them (when he was a store manager and had a difficult customer or thief and told them not to come back in the store anymore :-) It makes a wonderful selling point. Think of how other guys might misjudge you because of your size and you might be able to outsmart them since size doesn't have anything to do with smarts.

[Caveman]

Yet, if you ask any man, do you want to be any shorther? They will most likely say no.
Men have animal insticts towards eachother. Who is toughest, who's the best and strongest. Your stepson probably LOVES the power of his height when he is around other men. And not everyone is 226cm, you can be 180cm and be tall and avoid all issues with doors and riding busses. If you're tall you can be both a police and a rugby player, if you're short you have to limit yourself.

As you said, no one likes feeling overpowered, your stepson will never have to feel that. He doesn't have to prove to himself that he is strong and big, that comes automatically with his height because that is how people see and precept him.
When people commplain about being tall, I laugh. When tall people bring up that they can't fit their legs while sitting on the buss, I think to myself, well lucky you that you don't live on the buss then, because when you step of that buss, it's all good again, while when I step of the buss, I'm still short and my height issues still remain, and lucky your stepson that he doesn't live under a door frame.

I can't deal with having to pick a job or a profession depending on my height.

Random Dude: Hey Oliver, why are you a Rugby player?
Me: Because I'm short.
Random Dude: Okay, but you you like being a Rugby player?
Me: Nah, but you know I'm short, soooooo.... *sniff*.

And maybe there is a girl out there who would like me, but then I would never feel like I could protect her against larger males, and I would feel almost ashamed meeting her taller friends who look down on me like my mother did when I was 8 years old.

Lets be real, girls want a nice guy, but they also want someone who can protect them and whom they can feel safe around, I guess they also want someone who can make them look good. I can't offer any of that, exept for the nice guy part.

Search this on youtube, I can't post links: Short Man - Sidewalk Experiment: How short guys get the short stick

That video only showcases one of the short mans problems. I remember in ground school, walking in the corridors. I had to squeeze myself along the wall to get through. Do you have any idea how humiliating and downgrading that is. Not even the girls moved for me.

If you're 167 cm, you're 5'6" tall, not 5'4". That's my height, too.

I see that you live in Sweden. Definitely a country of tall people! My sister lived there for 2 years and said that she could never find clothes to fit her - they were always too large.

I can understand how these things seem very important in school when people are insecure and establishing the order. You are still young and haven't had the experiences to teach you otherwise so no wonder school life influences your self image as it does.

I can't agree that height makes a man a man, it's not my perspective at all. I'm a woman and shorter than you, I have always preferred men nearer my height, they feel a good physical fit.

But that said, I do understand this is how you feel about yourself, and I share this unfortunate trait of negative self talk. What would it take to help you feel better about yourself? Staying in front of a computer is no good for anyone, tall or short, male or female. Think about what you CAN do, not what you can't - self sabotage will only hurt yourself.