[LaBlueness]

So uhh... I've been dealing with jealousy issues for a very long time. My self esteem dramatically started to get affected around 8th grade. I've always wanted something that other people had that I didn't have. Those things that I wanted made me hate myself 'cause I knew I would probably never be able to have those things. I even get jealous over petty things. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be satisfied with myself 'cause I still want the things I don't have. I always compare myself to others then I overthink and get really upset over it. I want better self esteem so I can stop being jealous of everyone and stop feeling depressed. (I'm a perfectionist btw) There's not a lot of things I like about myself..

[gma45]

Old saying.....The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I would stop comparing yourself to others and start being thankful for what you do have no matter how little it maybe. No one is perfect and we all have problems some just don't seem to show as much as others. I bet you have some good qualities you just need to find them. I wish you the best.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

How do you think you will feel if you did get the things others have and you have not?

I would guess you would still feel dissatisfied with yourself?

I would suggest that lots of people feel a bit like this at times, (although I quite understand that you feel it more strongly and more often than most others). It is in our thinking patterns as people, but spells trouble when it gets out of control.

It is really, really difficult to change our thinking habits, perhaps working with a therapist might help.

[LaBlueness]

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

How do you think you will feel if you did get the things others have and you have not?

I would guess you would still feel dissatisfied with yourself?

I would suggest that lots of people feel a bit like this at times, (although I quite understand that you feel it more strongly and more often than most others). It is in our thinking patterns as people, but spells trouble when it gets out of control.

It is really, really difficult to change our thinking habits, perhaps working with a therapist might help.

Yeah, my overthinking can be pretty bad.. :|

I feel like I would be satisfied with those things. Idk I would have to live with those things in real life to answer that question. Is there a certain kind of therapist I should see?

[smm138]

I sometimes get jealous over what others seem to have and want the same things too. I see people I know post pictures on social media of the fun and exciting things they get to do and feel jealous too. Then I start to realize that people only post the fun and exciting stuff. They don't post pictures of themselves going to work/school, cleaning house, doing yard work, or paying the bills. They only share what they want people to see. Although it is hard sometimes not to feel jealous of the nice shiny things that others buy, things don't last they fade, break, or lose their appeal over time. Besides, there may be someone out there who is jealous of what you have. Try to focus on the things that you have and if there is something that you really want. Make it a goal to work for it. I agree with ManOfConstantSorrow when it comes to "things" the more you have the more you want most of the time. Therapy is a good suggestion, it may be helpful.

[fns90]

I agree with everyone else, you have to focus on what you have instead of what you don't have. Everyone wishes they have something they don't. There's another conversation on here that I think will help you (please add things to the raising self esteem list) Its has some positive statements to repeat to yourself to help raise your self-esteem. Just say them whenever you start to have these feelings. Best of luck!

[lexxinski]

That's my problem too. What I am trying to do now is just focusing on myself and my own problems. Before I used to think about my college buddies who graduated with grades worse than mine and got good jobs whereas me with my 3.8 gpa Im still struggling. Or other people I would be jealous of.

Whenever I have thoughts about anyone I cut those thoughts out and instead shift the attention to myself. I mean ANYONE, so I don't allow any thoughts about anyone. My mind is trained to compare and judge automatically whenever someone comes to my mind, so by not allowing anyone into my mind I don't give my mind a chance to judge or compare. I've been doing it for several days now and I feel a lot better since I'm not comparing myself to others. It was sucking so much energy out of me. Now I spend all this energy on myself. I started working out, doing yoga, and things to help me find a better job. Things are still up and down, but as Confucius said "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop"