[kaynaya001]

When you have a bad habit of being easy to manipulate because you are used to receiving positive attention/ affection on a conditional basis~ and always trying to gauge if you're worth it this time... how do you tell the difference between good intentions and narcissistic head games? one narcissistic tendency in particular, to tell me anything damning to get me to to do something self-destructive, self-destroying because it is supposedly the "righteous" thing to do for having fought it out with them?

When a narcissist is really good at using morality to trap you in obligations to them at your expense, how do you know what morality is anymore?

[Serzen]

I don't know if this answers your question, but my rule is that it is never the same being good than being dumb: If you benefit others, that's great. If you let others harm you or exploit you, you're dumb.

[convalescence]

In my experience, if you have to question if it's a good intention or a narcissistic head game, it usually is a narcissistic head game. Notice how I said usually and not always. You decide what morality is; not others. If something doesn't agree with you then don't do it.

Read as many articles on here as you can find about narcissicts to help you figure that out. Also, there is a very good you tube poster who goes into great detail about how to spot them on youtube. I think her name is the illisuion dispeller. Look her up.

If your gut tells you something is off, then it probably is. One thing that you can do is to stop doing what the narcissitic wants, or to stop complimenting them. Once you do this, they no longer have a need for you and they'll move on to their next victim. They need constant validation and they have a constant need for approval.

If they seem fake, then they probably are fake. A genuinely nice person with good intentions can take a little bit of critisicm or hear the word no once in awhile. They don't make everything all about them for example. Also, they care about other people. A narcissitic person will rarely ever ask you about yourself as everything is all about them.

[ladyrevan21]

I say go with your gut. If someone feels slimy somehow, or the situation feels wrong, by and large something's off somehow. Also, I haven't read the book myself so take this with at least a tablespoon of salt, but I heard that Gavin DeBecker's book The Gift of Fear is a pretty good book on trusting your instincts and identifying danger. It might be good at least for informational purposes. And read up on narcissism/narcissists.

That's my two cents, at any rate.

[JadeAmethyst]

I have experienced that if someone is "too good to be true" and tells you to much too soon, have been red flags. Trust yourself first and foremost.
Jade