Please, tell me I don't have to be perfect!

Hi there,

I realised recently (finally!) that it is simply impossible for any human being to be perfect. However, as crazy as this is, I still feel bad that I'm not! I would have thought the realisation that it's impossible would've made me give myself a break and accept myself as I am, but no.

I feel I need to hear it from someone else, too, that I don't have to nor do I need to be perfect. I believe we just need to be good enough in whatever it is we're doing, and the way to become good enough is to learn if we don't already know what we need to know.

You are perfect just the way you are.

Hi d.o.a.

Absolutely "I don't have to nor do I need to be perfect" d.o.a.!!!
And naturally NO-ONE is perfect.

But.........how about looking at it another way.....???
Imagine you met the (non-existent!!) perfect, or nearly perfect person.........dressed "perfectly", looked "perfect", had "perfect" opinions, had "perfect" feelings, said/felt "perfect" things, "perfectly" achieved so many things.............I'm not sure me, you or a lot of people would actually really deep down connect with them.
It's often some of the "imperfections" that bring us together..........whether to care, to share, to enjoy each others company, to feel less alone..........sometimes it's some of the "perfection's" that can be the actual flaws in people. So I say cherish some of those imperfections..........some imperfections can make you better than perfect
And with some "imperfections"..........well there will be some people who actually see them as perfect qualities in you, who will really value and love those "imperfections" in you.
So you shouldn't have to not "have or need to be" perfect..........some "imperfections" can be something to treasure

Alison

You will always be your own kind of perfect.

Thank you all for your lovely replies!

Alison, you, in particular, always have such wisdom to share, thank you That's exactly how I've felt when I've tried my damnest to be 'perfect' - that it actually creates distance between me and other people! Then again, when I've had the courage to be vulnerable instead and show some of my weaknesses, I've sometimes found that people can actually relate and understand what I'm going through, or at least care and want to support me. That's SO MUCH better than being on your high horse alone..!

You don't have to be perfect, but you can always improve.

I just realised that it's not just me who cannot/will not/doesn't need to be perfect - the same goes for life! Wow. I feel an enormous weight's been lifted off my shoulders

I understand where you're coming from d.o.a. My ridiculous perfectionism is one o the things that drove me here in the first place. It's not just MY need to be perfect, but it's accepting the world around me as it crashes and burns sometimes. It's exhausting and sad.

This whole thing was awesome. Made me cry.

Hi d.o.a.

SO GLAD for you that you've got to see/feel/believe that!!!
And sometimes facing "adversity" can help us appreciate the "better parts" SO MUCH more.......maybe MUCH MORE than someone else who hasn't faced adversity.
And that can be about anything..........feeling the "kindness" of some others more if they do/say something "unexpected", feeling a sense of achievement from something others might just "take for granted", feeling incredible relief from a spell without..........
There's that saying that........."Stars can't shine without darkness" that comes to mind
And naturally when you face adversity...........then sometimes you can grow much stronger in certain areas than someone without it, sometimes stronger than you give yourself credit for............
And some of those things that may say "perfect" in life e.g. "passing exams", "nice house", "nice car", "good job"............there no law AT ALL that says you have to have ANY of those to still be able to live a fulfilling, meaningful life, to still be just as important as ANY of those people

And not sure if I'm deviating a bit here (??).........but someone who just naturally progresses through those things..........."nice life", "things working perfectly for them"............personally.........not so impressed (!!), although, someone for who life can be/has been real difficult.........someone who has to pull on incredible strength to cope with things despite feeling.........people who still care so much about others struggles despite struggling themselves.......people who are brave enough/have the courage to speak up about things that may be so very painful for them...........now those are the type of people I'd stamp as amazing..........including people like you d.o.a

Alison