[black-roses]

I always believed falsely that I just need my own reassurance and self belief to have confidence and self esteem but that's not entirely true. As children we need our parents to give that feedback that were strong we have talents even if they don't quite fit with others are doing. This in turn gives the child a healthy view and identity of themselves. To be honest I never felt like I could do anything or that my talents could carry me to places I didn't know of. It was only in the moment that my father recognised my art and told me "that I am definitely going to art school and that I was getting really good". That was the only moment I realized that something I was doing as a hobby, that I didn't think much of. Was a strength and could potentially support my life. If was that moment I realized I was capable and the walls blinding me from others seeing my achievements came down.

[gayleggg]

I, too, grew up with low self-esteem. It wasn't until I was much older that I learned I had skills and talents that would bring me joy. And it wasn't until my father was an old man before he told me he was proud of me. It meant a lot, but would have been better if I had heard it at a younger age.

I'm glad you found your potentially earlier.

[black-roses]

I know it sometimes seems a habit that parents forget to tell a child how talented they are. Like us they are human they have bad days and it's so hard to compliment someone when you feel so **** inside. But, then as a child you feel and see everything and when you see a parent sad like that and blaming others coz there sad you think it was your fault. That was a lot like how my childhood was. My mother was sad and always in denial and she said some harsh and insane things all because she didn't want to accept that she was ill which would have been much easier for all of us.

[leasha101]

I can definitely relate to this too. Growing up my Dad would always tell me what I did wrong and what I needed to change in order to be pretty, rather than telling me that I am pretty and that I am smart. All those things he said to me have really effected me today and I am just now realizing them and trying to help build myself up. I'm glad to realized your potential early on!

You are absolutely right. I, too, had to become 'strong' as a child and tried to convince myself of everything myself.. It was only when I started therapy in my early twenties that I realised we need people to act as our mirrors.. Especially while growing up. That's the foundation of a healthy self-esteem, provided that our mirrors are not broken..

It's also completely true that children have a tendency to blame themselves. I blamed myself for my dad not loving me. I felt responsible for my mum being miserable. I think it's not safe for kids to admit their parents are less than perfect, or maybe they don't even have the mental capacity to understand that even though their parent is acting crazy, it's not their fault, it's because the parent has his/her own problems..

Actually, kids would need someone else, an adult, to recognise that, too, and explain it to them!

Indeed, imagine how much easier life would have been and would be if we'd had parents who were able to do more..! Luckily, we can heal our wounds now, provided we find the courage to show our true selves, little by little, to people who are able to recognise our worth and talents and give us feedback on these things..