[Amethyst_Stargazer]

I have horrible low self esteem and I'm constantly always comparing myself to others. I've been abused and I get triggered a lot sometimes. The minute I get triggered I immediately start crying and hate who I am inside and think that the person is better than me. I'm not a jealous type at all and I don't control people at all but whenever I get upset I get angry at myself for crying because I think I'm stupid. I even call myself stupid sometimes. I'm my own worst enemy and feel inferior to others. Anytime someone picks on me or says anything mean about me, I let their opinion take over and sometimes I agree with them even. Once I told someone, "Yeah I know. You're right. I suck as a person." The person who was picking on me even was shocked and ended up leaving me alone.

I don't have any hate inside me towards anyone. If anything I only dislike myself. My therapist told me that I should be more gentle on myself and stop beating myself up constantly. Right now I'm in therapy because I was abused by my ex boyfriend and bullied. My ex bf broke me down. Now I feel so low.

Believe I always had low self esteem issues though and I'll get into that on a different thread. I no longer go to my friends about my issues anymore really because I hate putting my issues on them and I want people to think that I'm happy... but deep down I'm not. Hate looking like I'm weak because I'm afraid of people picking on me and saying something mean to me. I say sorry a lot of the time. Sometimes I say sorry when I didn't even do anything wrong and I constantly always feel as if I have to explain myself to people a lot of the time. Another thing I do is whenever people compliment me, I don't know to take it. Just got done crying a little while ago and I feel awful.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing your struggle, Amethyst_Stargazer. Low self esteem is a problem for many of us here on PC I think. I suppose it comes with the mental illness territory to some extent. I'm glad you're able to see a therapist. I agree that talking to friends about what's going on with you is not productive. They don't know how to respond. They don't know what to do. And they really would rather not be bothered. At least this is my perspective on the subject. A lot of us, here on PC, are here to a large extent because we have no one in real life to share our struggles with. Hope you begin feeling better soon.

[Amethyst_Stargazer]

I noticed that right after I cry I always end up feeling better and this confuses me a lot. Than I tell myself to avoid Facebook and any social media so I won't end up getting depressed again and crying. I end up focusing on other things besides social media. Many people have a lot of social media networks and I try to avoid them a lot because I always see how people are so happy and get a lot of responses from people. Than I end up comparing myself to them and thinking "I must suck as a person."

One of my friends asked me if I had many social media sites and I told him I don't honestly see the point in them. For some people I think it's a struggle and it sometimes makes people depressed. Before I used to spend so much time on Facebook and now I try to avoid it as much as possible because it doesn't help my low self esteem at all. It always ends up making me feel worse in the end. When I do go on Facebook, I check it really quick, might post something up and then log off. If anything I prefer Forums over Facebook because I can actually get to know people. This is just my opinion though of course.

[Marla500]

I'm with you Amethyst-this is a much safer place than most social media sites in my opinion. It's so good to come here and know people will understand.