[groundhog9410]

A common topic and theme in this group of wanting to think better of myself and wanting to stop worrying about and being afraid of what other people think of me is a problem I often have dealt with and still deal with myself. Sometimes I am afraid to let people see the real sides of me or get close to me because I worry about what other people will think about me. I am afraid they will make fun of me or laugh at me and then I will think that I am not good enough at whatever they were judging about me. My recent response and counteraction to this is that I came up with my own words of wisdom that I tell myself frequently and help me deal with this fear in my life. These are the thoughts I have used to help myself improve my own self-esteem and self-confidence.

The first thought I tell myself is that “no one is perfect.” “All of us have imperfections.” I believe the imperfections are some of the characteristics that make each of us unique and special. I am also certain that at least one person in this world is loved by another person. Therefore, if everyone has an imperfection and one person can be loved by another person, this means that everyone can be loved by another person. I have often read and heard that when a person dies, not only do the family members and friends miss the person because they love that person, but they also miss and love that person’s imperfections because they were the unique and special characteristics of that person that made who that person was in life. This convinces me that I can be loved by another person and people can love me for who I am.

The second thought I say to myself is that, “When people judge other people, how long after they do it will they remember or care about what they thought and were judging about me?” In most cases, unless the person is a close family relative or friend, I believe that they will neither remember nor care about what they thought about me by the next day. People have other more important issues on their mind like health, money, jobs, relationships, and entertainment. Therefore, if people forget their own thoughts about me after one day, then why should I worry about what they think of me? This convinces me that I should not worry about what people who do not know me think about me. Obviously, this thought does not help me with people who do know me and this leads me to my third thought.

The third and most important thought I say to myself is that, “the most important thoughts about me are my own thoughts and the most important opinion about me is my own.” I cannot deny that what close family relatives and friends believe, think, and say about me are important to me. However, what I believe, think, and say about myself overrules everything other people believe, think, and say about me. I have to remember, though, that this does not mean that I am better than other people, but that I am just as good as other people. Therefore, regardless of whether people believe, think, or say that I am unlovable, unworthy of something, or not good enough to be something or somebody, as long as I believe, think, and say that I am lovable, worthy of something, and good enough to be something or somebody, then, even with my imperfections, this thought convinces me that I am lovable, worthy and good enough. The most important part of this thought is that it convinces me to love myself just the way I am.

I have two important notes about these thoughts. One important note, which I mentioned earlier, is that I have to tell myself these thoughts continually to get myself to actually believe them. I believe that constant effort is needed to overcome any obstacle, and learning to love yourself, believe in yourself, and believe that you are good enough requires this same effort.

Another important note is that actually believing you are good enough with imperfections can be a slow progression over a long time. I have been trying to improve my self-esteem and self-confidence for over one year now, but I still have not reached my goal. This is because teaching myself to believe I am good enough after enduring situations that used to make me think I was not good enough takes time to learn. However, my self-esteem and self-confidence are much higher now than they were before! This thought and the feeling that goes with it make me smile.

I want to thank everyone for sharing their own concerns and words of wisdom with each other. To me, this shows that each of us truly cares about ourselves and each other. I hope my words of wisdom can help someone here improve his or her self-esteem and/or self-confidence because I know that they have helped me. Please let me know if they have helped you. Does anyone else have some words of wisdom of their own that they would like to share with the group? If you do, please share them with us. I would like to read them. I can always use more words of wisdom from others to help myself.

[Skeezyks]