how do i start to love myself ?

i have always felt like am worthless i dont think am worth very much am surprised when people say am good at anything my mind is so negative that i make myself feel like **** i self injure and i have been trying to stop my sponsor ( i go to AA) says i need to try and accept myself am also trans i hate my body it to me feels its not right not they way id like my body to be male i have eating disorder issues i want to be stick thin under weight mostly and no fat at all am obese very very obese i have very low self esteem i treat my self like **** and i dont think am good at anything i have never done anything amazing with my life no kids no job no academic study my life has no point at all
i have married my husband am cut off from my family as my family are toxic i have friends and there amazing one of my friends wants me to try and treat myself better but i feel i cant i hate myself so much i dont know how to love myself at all
there has been abuse in my past i feel like am something that just get used not worth anything how can i start to love myself

Well... I wish I knew the answer to this. I don't. I hate myself. But in my case it is with good reason. I'm not trying to change it... just accept that it is the way it is. Anyway, as a result of that, I'm really not in a position to tell you how to learn to love yourself. (Perhaps there will be some other members, here on PC, who will have some suggestions.)

In the meantime, though, here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to learn to love yourself. Hopefully some of the information in them can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/self-l...love-yourself/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...dium=popular17

it's my opinion that learning how to love must precede learning how to love oneself. if a person feels no love at all, then find something that engenders at least a tiny bit of affection, and focus on that feeling. extend it to something else, or expand it to be larger, stronger.

many people think that change is a huge, one-time deal. it's not. it's little by little, bit by bit, adding up. and remember, the mind magnifies what it's focused upon; so try to turn away from those things you don't want to feel and do and hold the good thought~!

here's a little recipe for change that i was given, and it's worked for me:

1) DECIDE to change;
2) Decide WHAT to change;
3) CHANGE as much as you can every chance you get;
4) PRAISE yourself for every bit of change you make~!! (MOST important~!)

Sometimes we all feel weird in a while because none of us is perfect.However, your situation looks a little complex.But the most important thing to inspire you to move forward is having the gift of "life".You can work on your outlook if you think you don't like it.Get closer to any professional physician....

Remember hat you are not living life to impress anyone.Just be yourself.There is someone somewhere who is having the worst kind of low self esteem.You are suffering from inferiority complex and this is curable.You need to control your thoughts.Be positive,do the things you love most.It could be your favorite hobby....avoid friends who make you feel worthless...be happy.

That's a great question. I recently asked my therapist this question earlier this week in our session. I admitted out loud that I hated myself and I don't know how to heal. It was in relation to why I couldn't believe or accept when someone tells me that they love or care about me.

My therapist said to think positively of each day. If I did laundry and took a walk, acknowledge what I did that day and think positively about it. And to allow the love that comes my way, to be shown what love is through another person's eyes. That hopefully allowing that in, I can one day come to love myself. I don't know how to get there myself, but I hope that it's something to consider.

Suggest the book:
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
by Ravikant, Kamal
It may be helpful. It's easy to read and short book.

I've gone through a stage where I loathed myself until recently. All culminating in today when I planned something for my life. I think that if I do it, I will seriously start to love myself.

I got hooked on a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin a while ago. I haven't done what I want to do yet but just planning my life and little things and changes that I wanted to make seriously felt good today.

Just because there are things that the majority of society thinks is good and great and even grander to take on, it doesn't mean it's the way for everybody. I'm learning that now too. I wanted a way out of my major depression and I believe I've found that. Remember that people are not allowed to control your life because we all have free will and all that. People have their own minds and so do you. People can f*** themselves if they make you feel worthless because guess what...all that you are feeling right now is because you have been abused. The mind is a strange machine. It remembers and you act and feel according to history or present things.

I wish that I had an answer. I feel like this all the time. Have our though about looking for positive quotes that are motivation? I recently start doing that for a year. I recited these quotes until I start believing in them. Maybe it will help.Remember "in every pothole there is hope"

These are great advice! I wish I had thought about that myself!

Try this exercise. Take every letter of the alphabet and find a positive quality you have that starts with it. I did that once and found it helpful. You can also write down some affirmations and tape them on the bathroom mirror.

This is a good question

Great advice!

That is great advice!

Great advice!