Wanting to stand out all the time?

I feel really weird sometimes.

I’m constantly worrying about being “boring” and not standing out. I feel like I need everyone to like me and I feel like the level of attention they give me is a reflection of how much they like me, and subsequently, how much I’m worth or valued as a person.

How do I stop worrying about how much attention I’m getting? How do I stop worrying if people like me or not? I’m desperate to just be myself and not worry, but I’m always trying to shape myself into being a different person so I stand out more.

I’m worried I’m a proper boring person !

Help!

I'd say perhaps you suffer from self-esteem issues. Do you think that is correct? Do you have a therapist?

I do I think I just finished therapy a few weeks ago. It was a pretty abrupt finish as we only get so many sessions (I’m in the UK). I do feel a bit better but feel like I needed a lot longer to sort these self esteem issues out.

I'm sorry to hear that Perhaps you could read some books on the subject?

Not that I dress outlandishly but I definitely have my own style that stands out - starting with some pretty funky hair. The more manic I am the more defined this is. Usually it is in the granola-eating theme.

The ironic thing is that I do have a self-esteem problem and am always concerned about what people think of me and my appearance. I guess that dressing the way I do is a way of trying to control that. If I figure I am going to stand out anyway, I might as well be in charge of that. I dunno if this will make sense to anyone but me.

One thing though is that I am bipolar and the my hypo/manic I get the more 'out there' becomes my appearance.

Standing out from the herd is a natural instinctive danger for herd animals, of which we all are to some extent.