They say I should improve my self-esteem, and it will help with communicating with opposite sex.

Are they laughing on me? I weigh 220 lbs, I live with my parents and can't work because of my mental illness. My case can't be rescued by better self-esteem.

[sarahsweets]

@KuzMax
I am not sure what you are looking for...are you looking for ways to improve your self esteem? Are you looking for general support and for members who feel the same way to share with you?

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

@KuzMax
I am not sure what you are looking for...are you looking for ways to improve your self esteem? Are you looking for general support and for members who feel the same way to share with you?

That's a right question. Ok, let me explain myself.

First of all, I feel pain about what I'm writing. You've read some of my other threads and every time I post it, I feel pain. And talking about my problems and possible ways to solve them or, at least, lower the pain can be really helpful for me. That's a way to cope with it. (Not to mention, that it's not helping blaming people in rudeness after they tell somebody that it's not helpful to write empty, over-positive and meaningless messages.)

Second, I seek out for the people who used to have similar problems, but found a solution. I don't see any point to post things like "hey, I understand you, I'm in the same boat as you! <many smiles and CAPS>", but I do appreciate things like "you know, I used to have the same problem and suffered a lot, but now the things have changed, and I can tell you how I solved my problem: <...>".

Third, I'm truly wondering if there's even any point in improving your self-esteem, when your problems is not related to it. Or someone could tell me that my problem is my self-esteem, then I'll listen to his arguments, and if they are right, I accept it, and start working on my self-esteem.

[penguinh]

How do you post anonymously?

I get where you are coming from. It is extremely easy to succumb to depression when you get to the 'what is the point'? It is a result of a feeling of a lack of control over your life. What you need is a feeling that you have control and can have and achieve what it is that you desire. So your problems are "poor, fat and crazy", now think of solutions to those problems. I am not saving that there is an easy solution but you need to open your mind up to possibilities of change. For example, have you tried exercising to lose weight, medication/ therapy to improve your mental health and after it does, looking for a job to increase your wealth? These are all not easy steps but have you made an effort to change your situation?

[sarahsweets]

Originally Posted by Anonymous56790

That's a right question. Ok, let me explain myself.

First of all, I feel pain about what I'm writing. You've read some of my other threads and every time I post it, I feel pain. And talking about my problems and possible ways to solve them or, at least, lower the pain can be really helpful for me.

I totally get that.

That's a way to cope with it. (Not to mention, that it's not helping blaming people in rudeness after they tell somebody that it's not helpful to write empty, over-positive and meaningless messages.)

OMG, I havent made you feel this way have I?
I hope not.

Second, I seek out for the people who used to have similar problems, but found a solution. I don't see any point to post things like "hey, I understand you, I'm in the same boat as you! <many smiles and CAPS>", but I do appreciate things like "you know, I used to have the same problem and suffered a lot, but now the things have changed, and I can tell you how I solved my problem: <...>".

I think for some people acknowledging your pain is all they can do. Some people want to give you a response but may not identify with you but want you to know you are not alone. But I understand that first person experiences are the most helpful to you.

Third, I'm truly wondering if there's even any point in improving your self-esteem, when your problems is not related to it. Or someone could tell me that my problem is my self-esteem, then I'll listen to his arguments, and if they are right, I accept it, and start working on my self-esteem.

That is a loaded point. I do not know if your self esteem is the issue or if you need better self esteem, or if it doesnt matter. I would think that better self esteem would make you feel better but its so subjective that its hard to tell someone how to have better self esteem. Are you good at certain things? Even if you deem them small and insignificant are you good at something? Sometimes finding something you are good at-whether its being a good listener, crafts, riding horses, your job or whatever can be something to focus on.