[Burnt_Out]

I don't even know why I bother.

I threw my back out this week and was feeling bad because there was no way I could work out for a few days and then I got to thinking... other than to be healthy, why do I even bother? I'm a dumpster fire to be avoided by women anyway. I hate who I am and no amount of effort is ever enough.

Maybe I should just give of the dream of ever having a life. It's for people who aren't fatally flawed trash like me. There's nothing even the least bit redeemable here.

[BlossomingLen]

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I'm so sorry you're really down on yourself right now. Everyone has that moment where they really sit back and wonder what they're doing or what they're trying to achieve. I promise, you're meaningful. Your life is full of meaning, even if you haven't realized it. Right now, you need to focus on getting better. But once you do, you'll be back on schedule and everything will be okay. Right? You do matter. Right now, everything seems really bleak, but patience is key. Time will pass, bad things will pass, the storm will clear up and the sun will come out.

I hope these links help you somehow.

I hope you feel better soon. Have a wonderful day.

[Burnt_Out]

Originally Posted by BlossomingLen

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I'm so sorry you're really down on yourself right now. Everyone has that moment where they really sit back and wonder what they're doing or what they're trying to achieve. I promise, you're meaningful. Your life is full of meaning, even if you haven't realized it. Right now, you need to focus on getting better. But once you do, you'll be back on schedule and everything will be okay. Right? You do matter. Right now, everything seems really bleak, but patience is key. Time will pass, bad things will pass, the storm will clear up and the sun will come out.

I hope these links help you somehow.

I hope you feel better soon. Have a wonderful day.

Patience does nothing but burn time, and nothing gets better with time. Things only get worse. Everyone always says to be patient, and while I'm chomping at the bit to heed that advice, life just passes me by. What am I waiting for exactly?

I'm sorry, but what is patience going to do for me if ten more years goes by? Stuff just gets worse. Time runs out. We get too old to do the stuff we want to when we're young. My garbage face gets even more garbage. The things I can make better don't matter. I could give a crap about my depression. I'm depressed because I'm worthless.

Originally Posted by Burnt_Out

Patience does nothing but burn time, and nothing gets better with time. Things only get worse. Everyone always says to be patient, and while I'm chomping at the bit to heed that advice, life just passes me by. What am I waiting for exactly?

I'm sorry, but what is patience going to do for me if ten more years goes by? Stuff just gets worse. Time runs out. We get too old to do the stuff we want to when we're young. My garbage face gets even more garbage. The things I can make better don't matter. I could give a crap about my depression. I'm depressed because I'm worthless.

May I ask what stuff it is that you think you're too old to do?

[Burnt_Out]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

May I ask what stuff it is that you think you're too old to do?

Meeting someone, falling in love, spending a few years traveling and experiencing life together, getting married / building a home together, then having a family...

Why do you feel those things are time limited?

I know several people who those experiences did not happen to until 40s and 50s.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Burnt_Out

Meeting someone, falling in love, spending a few years traveling and experiencing life together, getting married / building a home together, then having a family...

You're looking for a woman in her mid 20's, if you want this to happen.

Don't put yourself down. There are plenty of other people who will do that for you.

[Burnt_Out]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Why do you feel those things are time limited?

I know several people who those experiences did not happen to until 40s and 50s.

I'm assuming you're referring to men here.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

You're looking for a woman in her mid 20's, if you want this to happen.

Don't put yourself down. There are plenty of other people who will do that for you.

To me, it seemed 27 - 33 (-ish) seemed sensible. I'd like to meet someone ready to settle down after all. It's a lot easier in theory than it is in practice, however. Meeting/attracting the right people is so utterly difficult. I'm not very good at being in the right place at the right time or whatever works for everyone else in the world.

My friends and co-workers have always been deficient when it comes to having eligible lady-friends around as well. If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all as they say...

Yes I did mean men mostly, although as an aside I do know women who did not settle down with the right partner until later in life. Of course biology limits their options for family of their own (although I do know someone who thrived as a stepmother), in a way it doesn't for men. But I have seen both sexes find their compatible relationship later in life.

In some ways it is easier because for many of us as we age we get to know ourselves better, we have more life experience.

Please do not feel the things you seek are time limited, they don't have to be.

[Burnt_Out]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

In some ways it is easier because for many of us as we age we get to know ourselves better, we have more life experience.

I agree with that for sure... though for the most part, I resolved what I was looking for back when I was circa 33... however it was the heart of the recession and I was long-term unemployed struggling to find anything, and in no place/no value to any professional woman.

Please do not feel the things you seek are time limited, they don't have to be.

Well the options certainly haven't presented themselves. I have the feeling that I'm going to have to date around a bit to find the right person for the long haul. Factor in that I haven't had a date in over three years, then one in the year before that, three the year before that, I'm dating LESS not more which doesn't bode well for any future.

Originally Posted by Burnt_Out

I agree with that for sure... though for the most part, I resolved what I was looking for back when I was circa 33... however it was the heart of the recession and I was long-term unemployed struggling to find anything, and in no place/no value to any professional woman.

I guess if you are seeking a professionally employed woman that does limit you somewhat. Personally I wouldn't reject someone solely on the basis they were unemployed but then I am not in a professional job these days (as an aside I'm happier than I've ever been). It's good you know what you want/is important to you however.

Originally Posted by Burnt_Out

Well the options certainly haven't presented themselves. I have the feeling that I'm going to have to date around a bit to find the right person for the long haul. Factor in that I haven't had a date in over three years, then one in the year before that, three the year before that, I'm dating LESS not more which doesn't bode well for any future.

I really hope your luck changes (and I hear a lot that guys in particular can really come into their own from middle age onwards), but in the meantime try not to despair, you have written on another post about having friendships and that is a great part of a full life.

[Burnt_Out]

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

I guess if you are seeking a professionally employed woman that does limit you somewhat. Personally I wouldn't reject someone solely on the basis they were unemployed but then I am not in a professional job these days (as an aside I'm happier than I've ever been). It's good you know what you want/is important to you however.

It's not a 100% pre-requisite. I'm not one of those people that require college education either. I just would like someone who's got a stable, ~30-40 normal hour gig or is at least on a path to that in the next few years (finishing school or unemployed & looking is fine too... we've all been there).

What doesn't work is what I ran into with my last relationship, where the girl I was dating wasn't on any sort of direction in life. She worked in the service industry (mainly fast food) and kept losing jobs over-and-over-and-over again. She had a good inclination and knack for interior design, and I was encouraging her to simply consider perusing that, but was really just iffy about college or post-high school education. We broke up for a number of reasons, but her lack of motivation didn't help.

This goes back to wanting to live my life with the person I love. To have somewhat similar hours, and to be able to take the time off to travel together which is something I really want to do in the coming years. I mean, I do it now (mainly annual family vacations) and while I always have fun, it sucks seeing everyone else have their significant other there to enjoy the experience together.

I really hope your luck changes (and I hear a lot that guys in particular can really come into their own from middle age onwards), but in the meantime try not to despair, you have written on another post about having friendships and that is a great part of a full life.

It's not so much that I was a late bloomer (I was a bit, and my career path has been a frustrating, slow-going ascent), but more that my prime got caught up in that garbage (and completely avoidable) recession that the inept powers-that-be cast us into from 2008 - 2014 or so.