[myoasis89]

I've always felt depressed...but I never thought it was because of low self-esteem. A lot of the time I protect myself from others by pretending to be confident and working really hard. I took a sel-esteem quiz and i said now to every single point which proves I have no confidence in myself. I have no clue what I want to do with my life...I'm constantly afraid that no one will love me for me. I just want a friend...I had lots of family problems....I've never had a real friend...my whole life i've been on my own...i never say what's really on my mind. I do this subconsciously without realising it. I've become this other person who i really am not. I pretend to be something than what I really feel because I'm scared of being told I'm not good enough or that I suck....I don't really know what caused my self-esteem issues.. I was always picked on in elementary school...it made it hard for me to trust people after that...I just moved myself away from people and never wanted a friend. I just had aquaintances and I still do. I'm not close to my parents...I'm not close to anyone...I don't want anyone to find out that I'm not perfect...I have no social skills...i suck at socialising...I just wish I could fix me...I wish I could be happy...all i've known is pain...no one has supported me...or been there for me...people have hurt me tremendously and I'm sick of it

[Sergeyk]

hey, you sound exactly like me, very little differences, and can i ask you this question? does your sign happen to be a Scorpio, Im sorry for asking this dumb question but Ive been reading too much stuff about Astrology and its in my head.

[myoasis89]

Originally Posted by Sergeyk

hey, you sound exactly like me, very little differences, and can i ask you this question? does your sign happen to be a Scorpio, Im sorry for asking this dumb question but Ive been reading too much stuff about Astrology and its in my head.

no I'm not a scorpio I'm an aries...why do you ask?

[Sannah]

Myo, your post is so full of useful info! You have done a good inventory of yourself.

Originally Posted by myoasis89

I'm constantly afraid that no one will love me for me.

my whole life i've been on my own...

i never say what's really on my mind.

I've become this other person who i really am not.

I pretend to be something than what I really feel because I'm scared of being told I'm not good enough or that I suck....

I don't really know what caused my self-esteem issues.. I was always picked on in elementary school...it made it hard for me to trust people after that...I just moved myself away from people and never wanted a friend.

I'm not close to my parents...

I don't want anyone to find out that I'm not perfect...

I have no social skills

no one has supported me...or been there for me...people have hurt me tremendously

I think that it all started with your parents. For whatever reason, they were not close to their children and their lack of social skills meant that you didn't learn any either (gee, this sounds familiar, oh yeah, this is how I grew up!)

This left you vulnerable to being bullied.

Trust goes out the window, walls go up, you have to protect yourself, but boy is it lonely behind those walls (hmmm, familiar again.....). These walls keep people at a distance, the same ones who might support you and be there for you.

Not interacting a lot with your parents gives the message that you are not very valuable. Bullying adds to that message.

Acting whatever way you have to to get accepted?

You can work through all of this. I did. I had to learn social skills, learned how to take down those walls and trust others so that supportive people could come close. I learned to love who I was and I understood that I felt I had no value because those around me treated me this way because of their issues not because I wasn't valuable.