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#1
May 24, 2009, 09:23 PM
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The other day one of roommates told me about an incident that happened at another place that we were living at but I was never told. We moved from that house on July 4th of 2008. So it has to have happened almost a year ago or more. He said that he was telling me now because he felt guilty. He had had a nightmare about it so I know that it probably weighed on him.
Where we lived I had glass doors so there were curtains on my doors. I tried to make sure that they were always closed but my cats would often get in them and open them just a little bit. We lived 9 in that house James and Sandy and their 2 kids (age 7 and 12 at the time) and Christina (Chris) and Jason and their two kids (age 13 and 14 at the time). James said that one night he came out of his room (which was at the top of the stairs) and looked down (my room was right below their room) and saw Jason looking into my bedroom as I slept and had his hand in his pants playing with himself. At least 2 times before I had caught their 14 year old looking in at me and I was going to tell on him but he begged me not to and said it would not happen again so I let it go and never saw him do it again. With this new knowledge I feel dirty, violated, disgusting, cheapened and sorta like I am a *****. I feel angry and just want to hide somewhere that nobody can ever hurt me again. then again I feel like I am overreacting too because it happened so long ago and I never knew about it so I really wasn't hurt. Am I overreacting or do you all think that I am reacting appropriately? I am confused. Vanessa 
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#2
May 24, 2009, 09:30 PM
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(((((Learning)))))
 I'm here for you!Ang
__________________
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 Learning_To_Love_Me
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#3
May 24, 2009, 09:48 PM
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I think that because this happened it triggered a memory that makes it feel like it is happening all over again. I think it was very wrong that they did that and I would feel the same way. The important thing is to remember it isn't happening now and that you are safe from them.
I am sorry that happened to you. Erin |
| Learning_To_Love_Me
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#4
May 24, 2009, 11:13 PM
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I would be bothered too, to find out about someone watching me like that. It would be reasonable to make sure that where you live now allows you the privacy and security that you need, or even to decide not to live with the people who violated your privacy. But, also remember, you are not the one who did anything wrong. What they did reflects on them, not on you. It doesn't make you anything different from who you have always been. You didn't ask for it or provoke it or encourage it, and most of all, you are not the one who violated someone's privacy.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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| Learning_To_Love_Me, white_iris
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#5
May 24, 2009, 11:18 PM
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I forgot to say, your feelings are your feelings, and are also perfectly acceptable. It makes sense to be angry. That is how you know, and can communicate to others, that something happened that was not right, and you don't like it. Feeling ashamed also tells you that you were wronged, or maybe it reminds you of other times you felt the same way. But it doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you. You are entitled to feel however you feel.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg
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| Learning_To_Love_Me, white_iris
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#6
May 26, 2009, 10:16 PM
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(((((LTLM)))))) No!!! You are not over reacting at all. That was sexual abuse, plain & simple and it was wrong and it DID hurt you - you are hurting right now, right? You might want to make an appointment with a therapist and talk about this incident and how it's making you feel. You may only need a few visits, or you may find you need several. Take care of yourself so you feel good about yourself again. You did NOTHING wrong.
It sounds like that family has some major problems going on. I would report them to DCFS. Those children might be being sexually abused.
__________________
 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings." 
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| Learning_To_Love_Me
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#7
May 27, 2009, 05:03 PM
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This week in T I was kind of downing myself for getting so wigged out about something. I said to my T that I felt so stupid because I know I am in control, this isn't 19whatever, there is NO REAL RISK of harm. I know this but yet I still get really anxious. All she could say was "you're not stupid the fear is coming from the child within not from the rational adult." This statement didn't help me much but hopefully it might help someone else who see their response as overreacting.
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
| Learning_To_Love_Me
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