[heyhey.im.j]

A really close friend of mine works for a chiropractor, a very well known one. One day at work he went into her room and proceded to work on her, well one thing led to another, he started to work on her chest, which made her a little nervous naturally but he is a good doctor, so she didnt really think much of it, then while still working on her chest, he cups her breasts, but thinking it might have been a slip up, it still made her question what he was doing but maybe it was an accident. then as the massage went on he was working on her legs, and moved toward her hips, please note she was a bit relaxed so it might have seemed to the doctor she was asleep, then he put his hand down her pants and touched her in an inappropriate way. At this point she was in shock at what happened, the doctors remark after she jumped up was "well i guess its time to wake up". What can she do? he is a well known chiropractor, it would be his word against hers and there is no proof of what happened. If you think you have any advice on what to do net please share, i dont know what she can do.

[lynn P.]

Hi,
I'm sorry this happened to your friend. You're right, she can't prove it or call the police. Firstly she should never go to him again. What she can do is file a formal complaint with the College of Physicians and Surgeons -maybe there's one specifically for chripractors - she won't have to prove it like in court. Just having a complaint against him will be damaging for him. Tell your friend next time anyone touches your private parts to right away stop it - exceptions being gynecological exams. She should never go back there. TC

i agree with reporting this doctor and, unfortunately, through no fault of her own, she's going to need to find another job. She can't work for an employer who assaulted her unless she has the inner strength to call him on his behavior regardless of how he responds and treat it simply as an unwelcome advance even though it was likely more sinister than that. That's a very difficult thing to do and why should she put herself in a position to be near this creep every day?

As for her stopping such contact right away, great if you can do it but don't let your friend beat herself up for not being able to do more. Shock is a powerful emotion that can halt anyone in it's tracks. Add to that at least 30% of all women have been molested in some way, and you have a very real possibility that she has been down this road before. Her response, therefore, is perfectly normal. It takes hard, deliberate practice to trust your instincts and allow yourself to react whether you're correct or not. It's highly likely the doctor was testing your friend's ability to respond with each step he took. Perpetrators are good at that.

Strategically, i would say she should begin covertly looking for another position and once it has been secured, follow through with the rest. She can't really discuss her reason for leaving without scaring off a potential employer (will she accuse me next?) so "career growth" or "location" or whatever other reasonable explanation for changing jobs would be preferred.

It's terrible this happened and i'm very sorry for your friend.