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#1
May 20, 2009, 01:42 AM
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I do not understand why I had to break the cycle...I do not understand..Why me? I was the first one to tell but the others came out and they lied that they knew nothing about me and that was a lie.
I told when I was 12...The other 2 were older than me.. The abuse started when I was 4 years old. Or at least that is when I remember the first time. Standing on the recliner's foot part...They just used their fingers...But I can remember it...I had to sleep with them...I had to bathe with them...And nobody stopped it...I was asked once if I thought it was just normal children's game of doctor..I was hurt so bad and I can never forget her for saying that...It was more than doctor... I remember always having to go to the doctor because of infections...I remember my Mom kept asking me if anyone was touching me...She never told me what kind of touch...How was I suppose to know what kind of touch she was talking about??? I have nightmares and nobody cares...I don't sleep at night...Not safe to sleep at night...But nobody understands that. I need to go.... |
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#2
May 20, 2009, 05:44 AM
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(((LLL1985)))
I care and I understand and Im sorry this happened to you and that no-one was there to rescue you - are you seeing a T? Sending you safe hugs if ok 
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#3
May 20, 2009, 08:55 AM
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__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
May 20, 2009, 11:53 AM
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Dear LLL, no what happened to you wasn't your fault at all and if you told and then told again, well, you were the brave one. The others have forced you stand alone and that's sad. i can understand why you would feel angry. Of course, i don't know the situation at all, whether or not you have confronted the others about their silence, but are you certain they remember? Sometimes kids makes those yucky memories disappear and it's not a conscious decision. If they simply won't talk because of fear, then that is just the way it is and I'm very sorry for that. Their support would be awesome. you can't change what they choose, only what you choose for yourself. Look after yourself and your needs. Stand tall in your truth and be proud that you are making a difference in what comes next.
if safe
__________________
Miri I have no armour; I make benevolence and righteousness my armour. Samurai, anon |
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#5
May 24, 2009, 05:01 PM
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Breaking the cycle takes great strength, and lots of support helps a person through their misery. I wish that you felt that you have the support of your mother, and others in your life. :sad: I may not be there for you in person, but I am here to listen if that helps. Safe and gentle hugs to you!  Shez |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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