[muffi]

can you trust body memories that come up from something that may have happened as a child, like if you just thought what if this happened and there was a body memory. people get scared all the time but aren't in harm for instance walking in a dark alley or something

muffi

I would trust them

[mixedup_emotions]

I'm going through something quite like that....

I have some so-called thoughts about something that may or may not have happened to me when I was a young child....but many missing pieces, and I'm not totally sure if it's real or not.

But I was VERY triggered by the SA that I saw with the neighbors kids....and there was thread here on this board that also made me realize that I must have been exposed to something as a very young child because I participated in things that were not age-appropriate....So, it's making the likelihood of these thoughts being memories....

I talked to my T about it, and he said that by exploring it, feelings get more intense, more pieces are remembered....etc....

I am still not totally convinced that it wasn't something I conjured up in my own mind....but I will be exploring this in T tomorrow....yikes.

[deliquesce]

i am very careful to try and keep an open mind about these sorts of things.

say if we just think of something (walking in the alley way), we may notice body sensations which aren't memories per se, just a natural reaction to something our mind has branded an unsafe scenario.

i know there was SA in my childhood, but i do not know the extent. i do have a lot of "pieces" that could come together to make a story, but i feel more comfortable without having to make a decision on whether they really did happen or not. it is possible that they did, it is possible that they didn't.

body memories are a real phenomenon, but we cannot know if our particular sensations are 'real' memories or not, unless we go back in time to verify whether they really did happen. it's a difficult place to be in, especially when we want concrete answers.

[multipixie9]

I heard it said somewhere, "The body remembers what the mind forgets". Some people believe that all we experience, especially things that were dangerous or highly emotional are sort of registered in our body, stored there so to speak.

I did not have huge amounts of body memories but I did have one thing that happened. I was very careful to not get invoved in sex and at 19 I met a guy and fell in love with him and slowly we began to get more physical in our make-out sessions and one day i suddenly began to have an intestinal upset that had me running to the restroom over and over. i thought it was a virus. This pattern kept going and every few days i would have this major upset internally. I had many doctors visits and tests and it was awful and I lost weight and got very frail. I went through a bad breakup with him and I know we were not going to make it because he was gently pushing me for sex and that freaked me out. He said he thought I got sick because he wanted to sleep with me. As bizzare as that sounds to me, I believe that is correct. I was terrified of sex and physical closeness and my body was screaming "sex is not safe, run away" even though all memories of my childhood s a were still pushed far away from my upfront thoughts.

Leslie

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I needed to reply to this because right now I am going thru a period where I have absolutely abstain from sex because it literally makes me sick! It is bringing me body memories all over the place. Trust them! Just trust them!
Hang in there!
Work thru it.
You'll be okay.
Billi

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I'm going through something quite like that....

I have some so-called thoughts about something that may or may not have happened to me when I was a young child....but many missing pieces, and I'm not totally sure if it's real or not.

me too!

I talked to my T about it, and he said that by exploring it, feelings get more intense, more pieces are remembered....etc....

and I have found that by trying to shut it out the same thing happens

I am still not totally convinced that it wasn't something I conjured up in my own mind....but I will be exploring this in T tomorrow....yikes.

me too - hope T went/goes well - every night I have a body memory that I dont know if it is real - I think when it persists then it is real - I have fleeting memories and body memories that go with them but I do not know if they are real - sorry if this is confusing..... its because im confused !

[chaotic13]

I think the body holds a lot that the mind forgets. However, I also think that it is difficult for the body to differenciate between the incident where you were attached in a dark alley vs the time when you where in a dark alley and feared being attacK again. I think the body experience both the trauma and the re-trauma/flashback/nightmare all the same way. All of these sets off the hyperarousal cascade and the body physically reponds like it is being attacked. As I mentioned in another post. IDK which affected me most, the actual traumatic event or the trauma my mind inflicted repeatedly the years afterwards.

[phoenix7]

Good post Chaotic13 - I agree with you - somteims the aftereffects are as bad or worse than the event - mainly cos they last longer....

[chaotic13]

And in my case elevated/enhanced by paranoid thoughts or by witnessing was done to others and knowing that it COULD also happen to me.

[deliquesce]

yes yes yes, chaotic.

e.g. - with the alley comment - this is something mum always drummed into me - you're gonna get hurt if you walk home at night. so it was a paranoid thought that i had every single time, and even now when i walk home at night because i can't afford a cab, it's hyperarousal and blood pounding and all of that.

[RACEKA]

Twice now in the middle of the night my body starts shaking like I am freezing. My teeth even chatter. It lasts a few minutes then it is gone. I was wondering what that was.

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by RACEKA

Twice now in the middle of the night my body starts shaking like I am freezing. My teeth even chatter. It lasts a few minutes then it is gone. I was wondering what that was.

What is with the cold sensation. I was taking a course 2 weeks ago that required me to be touched. During the touching I suddently felt cold all over. I am sensative to cold but the room itself was very warm so it was not simply are normal reaction. My hands and feet felt like ice cubes immedately following this activity. I'm thinking it was part of the constriction phase of the trauma cycle, but IDK.

[phoenix7]

I got cold the other day - it was so cold so no big deal - then I suddenly felt icy cold and chilled to the bone - it reminded me of a time when I was that cold - and scared - and hungry - I dont have the memory - but I do have the feeling that goes with the memory ....DO you think yours could be memories?

[chaotic13]

I think my coldness has more to do with the my nervous system response- anxiety-->increase muscle tone -->vasoconstriction--> decreased. Blood flow. I also tend to get skin crawling.