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Mar 26, 2005 at 05:01 PM
#1
You guys know that I've been taking care of my brother. I asked my mom to come here to stay once a month to help my brother and to help me. She said that it was really far to drive for just a weekend. Friday she called me to tell me that it didnt work out and that she can't come to visit us for Easter. I called home for a recipe this weekend, and I found out that she was gone to visit her mom and her sisters. I can't beleive it. Yes it is a shorter drive but OMG. I'm so madddddddd. I'm so hurt. I just want to stand face to face with her and say.. why??????? I want her to see how much she hurts us.
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Mar 26, 2005 at 05:53 PM
#2
Esthersvirtue,
Sorry you are hurting. If I recall you had said you are "avoidant personality" too? Well,in this post here, you said " I just want to stand face to face with her and say ...why????"Don't know about you- but letting someone know how I REALLY feel is a challenge for me. Do you think it might help telling your mom how you're feeling? Perhaps she doesn't realize how her actions are affecting you.. just a thought. Wishing you and your brother well. Mandy |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
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Mar 26, 2005 at 07:36 PM
#3
((((((((((((((((((((((((( ev )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i'm sorry. i just don't know what to say. that's awful and i'm sorry for your hurt and anger right now. love, __________________ 
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Mar 26, 2005 at 07:49 PM
#4
((((((((((((((((((((EV))))))))))))))))))))
That's awful. I wish there was something I could do. I think that letting your mom know how she made you feel would be a good idea. Hard as it may be, I think it would help. You have every right to be angry and I don't blame you one bit. I'm sorry that this happened. Take care. Ry |
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Mar 26, 2005 at 07:54 PM
#5
EV,
I am so sorry that your family is as challenging as they are and that because they are family you still have love for them. Frustrating, isn't it?!! You are doing a herculean task by taking care of your brother in his current condition while you face your own battles. Your request to your mother was reasonable and her excuse was flimsy. Regardless of why she didn't come.......she didn't come. What a let down! Are there any respite services offered through the agency that is treating your brother right now? You deserve a break from this and it doesn't appear it will be coming from family. Let's find a way to get you some assistance and rest time here. Keep on talking about the family stuff with therapist. Keep using the supports that are available for you. (((((esthersvirtue))))) |
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Mar 27, 2005 at 12:49 PM
#6
i, too, have some unsupportive people in my family....i know how much that must have hurt you and also made you angry...does your brother qualify for "home health" care? you definitely need a break and if your family won't help, perhaps you can find some one in an agency that can lend you a hand.......pat
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2004
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,940
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Mar 27, 2005 at 05:05 PM
#7
((((((((((EV))))))))))))
__________________  Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ~Alanis Morissette |
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Mar 27, 2005 at 05:49 PM
#8
Thanks you all. I am feeling better. I sent an email to my counselor. I realized how much that I use this forum to vent my anger at my parents. Not that this is bad, but I have problems feeling the same anger when i talk to my T. I'm not sure why, but its like watered down anger when i talk to her. ANYWAYS..
Thanks you all for understanding and having compassion  Happy Easter/ Resurrection Day / Sunday everyone |
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2004
Location: neither here nor there
Posts: 933
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Mar 28, 2005 at 06:38 PM
#9
(((EV)))
Glad you are feeling somewhat better about it. I was going to agree with ZH about what she posted. I think it's on target. I remember reading the post about your mom visiting and thinking, something's not right. I might presume too much, but your story is an awful lot like mine was. And my mother (it doesn't hurt anymore) never changed. She is still the same. Never there. ****hugs**** to ya dear and know you can p.m. me anytime when you're angry. I can completely relate and I'm sorry you're going through this. Take care of you, Kimberly. |
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Mar 29, 2005 at 10:15 AM
#10
Thanks so much KTP!!!! Its more just been a wake up call for me to stop living in my fantasy world where my parents are perfect and great. Unfortunately, I have an ovewhelming desire to tell them they are not great lol. Pray for me
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Mar 29, 2005 at 11:54 AM
#11
hugs and prayers for you EV. Lots of 'em!
(((((esthersvirtue))))  What a painful wake up call to realize. So sorry this is how it is. Perhaps here in this forum over time you can work on parts of letters to her where you DO tell her how not great she is? Possibility!! We believe in you here EV. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: PA USA
Posts: 7,878
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Mar 29, 2005 at 02:28 PM
#12
EV have you ever though about writing her a letter (a nice one) and firmly telling her how she makes you feel, explain to her that you should not be put in the position of mothering your brother and she needs to be there for you both on Holidays
Angie ps write the letter and post it or pm it to a friend and get input on it __________________  A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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