[crystalrose]

what does it actually mean ?? can it actually happen ?? Will Therapists refuse to talk about abuse because of this ?? mine said she didnt want to talk about the past and abuse because of this .. HELP..

[caring_whiterose]

(((((((((((((((crytalrose))))))))))). I am sorry you are so upset. If you don't mind saying or talking about it may I ask whay she didn't want to talk about. There is no pressure. I have never heard a T say anything like that though.

Originally Posted by crystalrose

what does it actually mean ?? can it actually happen ?? Will Therapists refuse to talk about abuse because of this ?? mine said she didnt want to talk about the past and abuse because of this .. HELP..

[liljamie23]

i've never heard a T say that. hmmmm..... i thought the point was to talk about it. strange. take a deep breath, find your happy place and relax. i'm sorry you're upset, i'm sending you lots of warm, safe hugs.

[crystalrose]

I have no idea why she said it at first when i first saw her she said i could talk about anything without pressure, now today i told T that I wanted to get some of the thoughts out of my head and it was hard to talk about and T then said she didnt want me talking about the past because it would be a retramatise me and not help as much as help me with what is happening now. My T has diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder. I dont know what to do but now i have to find a new T.

[caring_whiterose]

That is really were. I would think a T would want to talk about the past so you and her could find coping methods to get through it. It doesnt make much sense to push it away and forget about it. I am sorry. We are here for you anytime.

Originally Posted by crystalrose

I have no idea why she said it at first when i first saw her she said i could talk about anything without pressure, now today i told T that I wanted to get some of the thoughts out of my head and it was hard to talk about and T then said she didnt want me talking about the past because it would be a retramatise me and not help as much as help me with what is happening now. My T has diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder. I dont know what to do but now i have to find a new T.

[crystalrose]

thanks heaps.

[liljamie23]

you might very well need a new T. until you are able to get through or past the past you can't fully work on the now. well, that's what i think. i am sorry, hope you feel a little better.

[crystalrose]

i agree with you liljamie

[writingwithink]

Crystal, I'm not sure where you are in your life, but it could have something to do with where you are regarding safety. If he/she feels that addressing these things will do more harm in your current situation, then he/she is right not to encourage addressing these issues now.

I work with someone who wonders why her T doesn't "encourage" her to talk about past abuse. My response to her is: "Because your family is not stable, your husband is abusing your children, you've just left him, etc." She would not be able to handle it. The stability/safety factor could be anything that your T feels you may need more time on before going into the trauma.

In my case, my T is encouraging me to talk about it. But I'm also in a very stable place: a good job, a solid home life, and a strength that comes from somewhere that I can even understand myself. I've put my trust in her abilities and length of career that if she thinks I can't handle it, she will pull me back from it; although, I haven't told her a damn thing yet. And even in my case, she has discouraged me from seeking energy work that requires touch because, I assume, she believes it may do more harm than good right now. I guess my recommendation is to trust your T when he/she doesn't encourage it.

Finally, I always cringe when people suggest getting a new T because of... whatever. You should discuss it with your T. Always, always, always talk about it with your T before writing her/him off. And talk about it a lot with him/her before thinking of leaving. You owe it to yourself to approach it, and, frankly, the T deserves it since he/she is the other part in that relationship.

[WePow]

Writing has a point... talk with T. You invested too much already with getting T to know you and your situation. And before a person can do the trauma work, they must be in a safe mental and physical place. Stabalization is the first goal of therapy. Then building the safety net and resources and plans that you will use when you start the trauma work. And boy do I mean you will use them! OMG. After all of that is firmly in place, the right T can very gently guide you through the actual trauma work itself.

I also know what it is like to just want to get it out of your system. UGG. It is a poison - I know. So why don't you talk with T and see if T will allow you to do other things in a safe way that can "vent" some of the trauma work if T thinks that I ok to do - stuff like art therapy or journal work.

Either way, listen to T and work with T on understanding both your short term therapy goals and your long term therapy goals. A good T will know what they want for you in both of those regards.