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#1
Dec 29, 2009, 06:07 PM
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I asked my Care Co-ordinater to make an apointment where we can sit down and talk.I told her i had something specfic to tell her.We've been so busy with me being in hospital etc i've not actually told anyone whats bothering me.
So tommorow I will tell,I am going to to be brave and i am going to speak those words i cant bear to hear come out my mouth. Its going to be different though.I'm not going to hold back,I am going to tell the truth,I am going to describe it to her and tell her the details.And i am going to say the words. And I'm Terrified! She does know things that have happened but i have never discussed it.And ive never been able to speak the words aloud. Could i please just ask people for a hug and some support. I Need to this its time and i dont want to back out. Thankyou x
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Princess Butterfly 
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 TheByzantine
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#2
Dec 29, 2009, 08:02 PM
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 go for it! 
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| Princess Butterfly
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#3
Dec 29, 2009, 08:19 PM
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You can do it!
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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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| Princess Butterfly
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#4
Dec 29, 2009, 08:36 PM
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((((((((((( Princess Butterfly ))))))))))))
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| Princess Butterfly
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#5
Dec 29, 2009, 08:56 PM
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Good luck! It may be hard but it will be worth it.
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| Princess Butterfly
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#6
Dec 30, 2009, 07:32 AM
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I'm in floods of tears right now.
 I'm scared and i keep going over things in my head. My care co-ordinator will be here in 3hours. What if i breakdown whilest i tell her? What if i cant do it? right now i want to disappear,curl up and die.
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Princess Butterfly
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#7
Dec 30, 2009, 08:16 AM
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(((princess)))) You can do this! You are being so brave! Could you write it down in case you lose your nerve, and have her read it? I remember the first time I told I couldn't get the words out, either.
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| Princess Butterfly
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#8
Dec 30, 2009, 08:23 AM
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Hugs for you butterfly. Writing it out and having her read it while you are there is a great idea.
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| Princess Butterfly
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#9
Dec 30, 2009, 08:40 AM
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i dont think i could write it, Maybe a poem actually i'm good at putting things that bother me in poems.
Thankyou 1 1/2 hours til she arrives
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Princess Butterfly
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#10
Dec 30, 2009, 10:26 AM
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She's late! Which isnt unusual but she hasnt phoned me to say she's running late which she usually does.
Now i'm scared that she isnt going to turn up.I really hope she does. I guess i should call the office if she not turned up in next 10mins. Whole world against me comes to mind
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Princess Butterfly
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#11
Dec 30, 2009, 01:02 PM
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She did turn up she was 30 mins late but:
I DID IT ! I TOLD HER! 
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Princess Butterfly
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| WePow
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#12
Dec 30, 2009, 02:29 PM
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Woo Hoo, good worK!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| googley, Princess Butterfly
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#13
Dec 30, 2009, 07:03 PM
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Good for you! I hope you are feeling relieved now that you told. It's an important step in healing, getting the story out.
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| Princess Butterfly
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#14
Dec 30, 2009, 07:52 PM
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Well done! You are brave and should be very proud of yourself!! ((((Hugs)))))
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| Princess Butterfly
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#15
Dec 30, 2009, 08:29 PM
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__________________
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| Princess Butterfly
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#16
Dec 30, 2009, 11:35 PM
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So wonderful, good for you!
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| Princess Butterfly
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#17
Jan 02, 2010, 08:47 AM
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Thankyou very much,I am feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders
My mood is getting difficult now though.The panic attacks and the tears are more difficult to cope with.I get so scared I can't breathe.this last week its got more intense and more frequent. I've agreed to give up my house.My care co-ordinator tells me that I will have to go into a mental health nursing home because supported housing wouldn't be able to cope with my condition.I'm upset about it but maybe its best.she has found a place.she is in the process of sending them my details and is trying to arrange for me to visit next week.if they accept me I could be moving in around the 20th Jan.if they don't I will prob be moved to a different town.I feel ok about it not happy but ok.I just hope it all goes through quickly and I can move to the home in my town.moving is stressful enough let alone doing it when I'm not so well.
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Princess Butterfly
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#18
Jan 02, 2010, 09:35 AM
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(((((Princess Butterfly)))))
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
| Princess Butterfly
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#19
Jan 02, 2010, 01:59 PM
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PB, I am so glad that you have some good help. Please keep us posted!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Princess Butterfly
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#20
Jan 03, 2010, 10:35 AM
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I do not know your story or your situation right now but from this post and your bravory - things will get better.
I hope your care coordinator will continue to give you the helping hand you need. Please keep posting as well. Try to see this as an opportunity to be looked after in a safe environment, as an opportunity for healing and getting better. You have a lot going for youself and I hope that you can find a way to feel empowered and overcome the panick attacks. You are safe now. |
| Princess Butterfly
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#21
Jan 03, 2010, 03:54 PM
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Big safe hugs for you!!! Whatever it is you have to do to be safe and well - I hope the path is filled with sunshine.
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| Princess Butterfly
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#22
Jan 03, 2010, 05:32 PM
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Soooo incredibly brave of you!!!
Be extra gentle and kind to yourself now that you have crossed this hurdle....
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail... 
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| Princess Butterfly
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#23
Jan 03, 2010, 06:36 PM
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Thinking of you hunni
x x x x |
| Princess Butterfly
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#24
Jan 04, 2010, 07:33 AM
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tatyana2009-"I do not know your story or your situation right now but from this post and your bravory - things will get better.
I hope your care coordinator will continue to give you the helping hand you need. Please keep posting as well. Try to see this as an opportunity to be looked after in a safe environment, as an opportunity for healing and getting better. You have a lot going for youself and I hope that you can find a way to feel empowered and overcome the panick attacks. You are safe now." Thankyou so very much for this x
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Princess Butterfly
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#25
Jan 04, 2010, 07:36 AM
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Hi everyone alots going on for me,Please check *High risk BPD* in borderline personality disorder.I will be putting most my updates in there.And anything specfic to abuse in here.
I will speak more about what i told eventually but not just yet.I have loads going on right now Thankyou everyone for your support and well wishes xxx
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Princess Butterfly
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