[embracinglife]

I stopped seeing my therapist for the first time in nearly four years. I have stopped before for four months when I went over seas, but this is really the first time for a long time that I have actually felt comfortable enough to stop therapy on my own, because I feel like I have been doing pretty well lately and don't feel like I need therapy at the moment. Hopefully I'm right. Otherwise, I mean, I can always call my therapist up again whenever I need a visit. And, she does phone visits, so if I'm living in another part of the country for a while, I can still do an appointment over the phone, which is really cool.

I'm still on my medications which I know I need to be on right now. I've been taking vitamin D 10,000 iu, which has so far seemed to help my mood...but lately I feel a little down again...maybe because i have been taking less of my anti-depressant because it used to be too much, maybe i need to go back up again. I don't know. meds, life, its all usually pretty confusing.

I think one thing that will be really important for my healing journey is establishing more close friendships, and finally being able to talk to people more about my sexual assault. it's been over four years since the first one, and i'm still trying to figure out the rest of my past and what not. therapy has helped me out a ton in that area...but now I need to just keep living my life. I recently read a book that really helped me a lot called "Voices of Courage" about 12 peoples stories of sexual assault and survival. It did give me some courage and hope for finally being able to talk about it more openly in the future. I can't believe its been over four years, and still very few of my friends actually know about it. Little by little I think, that's how change and transformation takes place.

Good luck with this, graciemi. You are to be commended for what you have been able to accomplish.