[Eliza Jane]

Hi guys,

I am new here and actually I don't even know if I have been abused or not (see my other post "Repressed Memories"). What I do know is that I react very strongly to sexually-related stuff and I do not like to be touched by strangers.

I have my first gyno visit at the end of this week. I am so scared! I should admit that I am over 30 yrs old and have never gone because I have been too afraid. But, I am trying to confront my fears, so I made an appt.

Does anyone have any tips on how to get through it? I was shaking just making the appt over the phone. I have some Ativan from a few yrs ago and I think I will take some of that.

Any tips are much appreciated!

Thanks,
Emily

[jexa]

I have a fear of the GYN too. I have been twice in my life. First, it is over faster than you think. Second, most gynecologists are gentle with you. It doesn't change the fact that I still fear it and only go when I absolutely HAVE to, but I can get through the appointments at least.

Some tips.

1. Talk to your gynecologist about your fear. A good doctor will be gentler with you knowing this information.

2. Take the Ativan.

3. Try to do a mindulness meditation if possible. I like the "five senses" meditation best. What do I see? What do I hear? What do I smell? What do I taste? What do I feel?

4. Don't plan anything important for later in the day. You deserve a nice rest. Go get some ice cream, take a bubble bath, and reward yourself after you get through this. Buy yourself something nice if finances allow. Go in to your appointment knowing that you are going to reward yourself for being brave.

5. If you start to shake, just let the shaking be. Don't try to get it to go away. It will only increase the more you fight it. Same for other physical anxiety reactions. It is not dangerous to feel anxious.

You'll get through this. Way to go for making the first step!

[lynn P.]

Great suggestions from Jexa. I had my first exam when I was 18 and I was shaking and I hated it. I've never been abused - just terribly shy. For me I feel more comfortable with a woman doctor but I have had male doctors. I would do all of the above suggestions and I have an additional tip. For doctors this is just another boring body part that I'm sure they would rather not see - after doing so many. It's no different to them, than looking down your throat. Ask your doctor to tell you step by step before they do something. It will only be mildly uncomfortable and will be easier if you relax. The doctor also has to feel on the outer lower stomach and usually they feel the breasts for lumps. I found I was even more relaxed once I had kids - that's basically cures inhibitions when you give birth lol. I also agree you should reward yourself when you're done. My husband had an aunt who died from cervical cancer because she was too afraid to go for a pelvic exam. You can do this and acknowledging your fear to the doctor will help alot. Remembering this is medical and not sexual is also important. Best of luck and let us know how it goes - you can do this.

Great tips from the previous posters. I just wanted to add that I understand how you feel. I vomited before and after my first gyn visit...that was years before I faced my CSA and started healing.

Telling your doctor that you are nervous is really helpful. You don't have to disclose why.

Also, I repeat to myself (silently) during exams "Dr. X is safe. She is here to help me."

[Typo]

I too get nervous and anxious when visiting the gyn,

I take an object to hold and concetrate on, I have a small piece of amythest or a small stuffed animal, I hold it and in my mind ask myself questions about it, how it feels, where I got it, what it means to me, notice the textures and make up little stories or games with that comfort object, and before I know it the exam is over with, it helps takes my mind off of the icky things and focus my nervous energy on a safe thing.

I hope it goes well, let us all know how the appointment went

Best Wishes
Typo

[Eliza Jane]

Thank you all SO MUCH! I feel better having some tips. I'll let you know how it goes. Send some good thoughts my way!

Best,
Emily

[googley]

I agree with the previous posters. I have gone through this process twice. I hated it each time. It was better when I told the doc the second time about my fears. She was willing to go slowly and stop if I needed it. She even offered to reschedule if I needed to (I didn't want to because I didn't think I could get myself to come back for it again.) Do you have anyone who could go with you? Even just to wait in the waiting room so you wont be alone when it is done? I did a lot of talking about the procedure with my T before I went so I would know what to expect. I think that helped a lot. Good Luck.

[michele#3]

Like Googley I agree with the previous posts. The only things I would like to add is in the form of questions. First have you seen this doctor before and are you comfortable with them? Second is your doctor female? That might make it a more comfortable experience.

[Eliza Jane]

I survived! It wasn't as bad as I feared. I did take 2 Ativan, which helped some. The Dr. was nice and I told him that I hadn't done this before and I was worried (To answer michele3's questions, it was a male that i had never seen before). He didn't scold me for waiting so long to come in and he didn't tell me to lose weight. He talked me through it and I just did things that made me feel safe (i.e. covering my face). The also didn't make me take off all my clothes, just the bottoms. It made me feel less exposed. And he said i looked heathy, so that was good too.

Afterwards I went a rewarded myself with new jeans. Although that shopping trip got a bit out of control and I spent too much. Must be the Ativan still in my system that made me not care about money!

Thanks again for all your support.

Best,
Emily E.

Good for you, Emily.

[zooropa]

I struggle with this, too. I have had kids so I have been to the ob/gyn tons of times, but now that I'm doing trauma work in therapy I cannot even face the thought of going. What sucks is that I'm having a problem and NEED to go see the gyn, but I can't. I have made the appt but keep cancelling it. Maybe if I had some anti-anxiety meds to take beforehand it would help, but I don't.
I know I need to go get this problem seen to, but I can't face it. I have talked to my T about it once but she just validated my feelings and said she can't advise me either way and she never asked again about whether I went or what happened.

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Emily E.

I survived! It wasn't as bad as I feared. I did take 2 Ativan, which helped some. The Dr. was nice and I told him that I hadn't done this before and I was worried (To answer michele3's questions, it was a male that i had never seen before). He didn't scold me for waiting so long to come in and he didn't tell me to lose weight. He talked me through it and I just did things that made me feel safe (i.e. covering my face). The also didn't make me take off all my clothes, just the bottoms. It made me feel less exposed. And he said i looked heathy, so that was good too.

Afterwards I went a rewarded myself with new jeans. Although that shopping trip got a bit out of control and I spent too much. Must be the Ativan still in my system that made me not care about money!

Thanks again for all your support.

Best,
Emily E.

That's awesome (((Emily))) - good for you and glad it went well. Nice also that you rewarded yourself. You go girl!!!