[BrokenNBeautiful]

My therapist wants me to write a letter to my dead aunt (who abused me) and when I attempted to do so, I became afraid and shut down.

I think I complain about her enough!

Billi

[RACEKA]

My T suggested a while back I write a letter to my mom abuser. I declined at the time. It was too soon for me. He hasn't brought it up again.

He keeps bringing up the empty chair exercise and I've been declining that too. I just can't do it.

[NuckingFutz]

Gotta be at the right time in the right place for the right reason. How about a nice letter to yourself about the progress you have made in your recovery instead for now?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I wonder why some of us are so afraid?

An empty chair or a piece of paper should be nonthreatening, right?

But I keep hearing my aunt's critical voice whenever I think of talking to her, even to give her a compliment!

Is that voice what I am afraid of?

Am I afraid of God?

Just some ideas...

Billi

[WePow]

Billi - right now the pain for you is just too deep.
It takes some time to actually accept the reality that someone abused us.
After that, we go through different stages of anger and grief.
Have you allowed yourself to admit that you were a victim of an abuser?
If so, have you felt the anger yet?
The letter excersise is a great way to find out how to put the anger into words and get them out there. It is very empowering. But if there is still fear of the abuser (even internalized), then it takes a lot of work to be able to stand up to that fear in order to take back our power.

This might sound odd, but could you try to write just a few sentances to the feet of your abuser? What you feel inside when you hear her steps? You could even do it here under your post if you would like support with this - or you could put it up in the creative forum. But just to start with a small part of your abuser just to get the ball rolling with taking back your power.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

With the support of my 12 step friend, I wrote my aunt a "note" about the basics of her verbal abuse.

I wrote, "You never wanted me and I don't know when I will get over this. You never admitted this. You always said that wasn't true---but I FELT differently. I knew that you never wanted to take care of me---you siad you never wanted a kid..."

And so on.

thank you for your support.

Billi

[Sannah]

Very good! Do you feel more empowered now?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Part of me is overcome with grief as I look at how much she has hurt me, but yes, I am more empowered because I realize now that a lot of the stuff I went thru with her was really more about her that about me.

Thank you,

billi

Originally Posted by billi_leli

My therapist wants me to write a letter to my dead aunt (who abused me) and when I attempted to do so, I became afraid and shut down.

I think I complain about her enough!

Billi

this was a project I've still yet to do, ....

Thanx for posting

[Hippie]

You were Very very brave to write. I cannot do that. Not now. I'm glad you found the strength.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I will probably do some more letter-writing and posting here.

thanks hippie and starlite for your recent replies.

Billi