[cherry.candy]

Firstly I want to say sorry - because I havent been around lately, I have been in hospital for quite a while.

So Im sorry for not supporting you guys.

But recently the police have been involved in my care, and well they know that I went through a horrific crime, and they want to know what it is. I have an allocated police officer and I have his email etc and hes so nice, he said I could email him about it.

But how on earth do I write those words to a police officer?

I was raped and abused.

How do I do that, without feeling so bad and worthless and argh

[Perna]

I would try to concentrate on when you talked/met him and the part of him that's "so nice" and just talk to him like he was someone trying to help instead of being a police officer? That's just his job, not his interaction and trying to help you. Just state the facts, as if you are reading them or as if they're about someone else, etc. Maybe just start with "I was raped and abused" and not say much else the first email?

[mtd]

Hello,

It was not your fault, what was done to you. You did not deserve it. You do not deserve any more to carry the shame and try to hide what was done to you. Let the police help you. Share your truth with them. You have nothing to hide and you do not have to be alone with this.

I held my truth in for 20 years -- the truth that I had been horribly harmed as a child. When I finally told another person, and then another, and then another ... I finally began to heal. You deserve to heal too.

be well,

mtd

[Aquafara]

Would it help you if you used another word for those words? Or is it not the word that is bothering you? Do you know what about it is making this so hard? Is it what happened or talking about it? If it's the talking/writing about it, what about the talking/writing is making this so hard? Is there a certain way you view the officer or police in general that you think may be off putting to you?

[cherry.candy]

Thank you for the reply guys, it means a lot.

You are all so supportive!

And Aquafara, the problem I have is that, I hate that four letter word, I just, argh, I dunn, its hard for me to write it sometimes, and I dont know how to write it to him, its such a big thing, I can easily write about things more than I can speak, which is why he told me to email...so....and telling the police in general is scary enough!

What if I do it and its a big mistake, I know as soon as I send that email, Im going to panic.

But I want to do it.

I jsut dont know how to.

[serendipidy]

*hug* cherry there is no shame in it having happened it does not change who you are.

if you have a problem with the word don't use it, just state the actions and don't use that word

the shame is the perpetrators.

[Aquafara]

This has to be so hard on you. I am sending hugs and good energy vibes your way!

You're right... You probably will panic. You will. But remember that you will likely help someone by coming forward with the information.

It's absolutely painful, it's like... It's a raw word. I hate that word too. I hate it. Okay, so how about we work on other words you could use?
Attack, abuse, violation, force...

Now be careful reading this as it may bring up memories for you.

Any of these words can be made to describe what you went through: The attack, abuse on my body; the violation of my body, sex by force.

And then you get more detail. I was approached and attacked, my body was abused. I was violated, unwillingly forced to have sex.

I'm not sure what the officer is asking for so I can't really do much more than that. They may ask you to describe further.

[cherry.candy]

I sent the email.

Just got the agonising wait for a response Im thinking all sorts.

I just said that I was sexually attacked, that sounds stupid doesnt itt? I know hes going to ask more questions though.

Im going to keep in mind those other ways of saying that word, jsut incase he needs more information than saying I was sexually attacked!

Feel really scared and worried.

[cherry.candy]

I got a response

He wants to see me, to have more information.

[AkAngel]

Going with you in spirit; hoping all goes well.

You are braver than you know for coming this far.

[50guy]

Be honest and tell all. If you are uncomfortable just telling him ask for a female officer to be present. Believe me, he will not be offended and will feel more comfortable too.
Remember, he is there to support you and once he processes the information he will take action based on your accusation. Arrests will be made, identification will need to be documented by you, the complaint will be written and a hearing will take place.
The arresting officer is your friend and can also be your advocate.
I come from a long line of Police in my family, I was a Police Officer/Chaplain for 4 years. You can also ask for a Chaplain to be present. The Police community will support you 100%. I believe in them, myself, my brother, my son and my nephew are all Police.

Good luck to you.

((((cherry candy)))))---How'd it go??--sending out huggies--theo

[cherry.candy]

Im seeing the police officer tomorrow at 1pm

[pachyderm]

(((((cherry.candy)))))

[Skully]

It may offer you relief to finally be able to talk to the authorities about what happened to you. I think it is great the officer gave you his email. That way if you are not comfortable in talking about it sometimes it is easier to write it. Talk with your pdoc and make sure you have a therapist that you can talk to as well. If the police get involved it will bring up a lot of things. Make sure you have a good support system in place.

[Typo]

(((((((((Cherry.Candy)))))))))))

sitting with you sending you supportive strong thoughts.

keep us all posted

Peace and Serenity
Typo

[serendipidy]

Originally Posted by cherry.candy

I got a response

He wants to see me, to have more information.

it will be alright, it isn't the first time he has spoken to someone who has experienced this.

he will understand

[cherry.candy]

I dont think I can do this :'(

Its all getting so much to deal with.

I wish I had never of said anything!

[Aquafara]

Originally Posted by cherry.candy

I dont think I can do this :'(

Its all getting so much to deal with.

I wish I had never of said anything!

Did you go???? I'm so sorry I was away, I was having computer issues! I wish I'd been here so I could have told you to write it. If he asks anything and you can't respond in speech, you could write it. If that is easier, I'm sure that would be perfectly fine!!! If you didn't go, please follow through. I know it is extremely difficult, but you may be able to help. You probably feel worthless thanks to that p.o.s., but you aren't! You aren't worthless at all... and you can do this. It will be difficult, painful, just completely uncomfortable, but you can. If you haven't, I know you can.

[Irine]

Remember that he is on YOUR side. sexual arrack is not a stupid expression we have it in Hebrew too.

Do you have a therapist??? Did you process your trauma?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Dearest Cherry Candy,

I'm sending you as much support as I possibly can. You have much more courage than I do. I couldn't bring myself to tell the police of my rape at 3 and then molested at 9 then date raped at 15 and raped again in my 20's and then a sexual assault at 34. The only one I did anything about was the one at 34.

I was so angry, so hopping bloody mad that I couldn't let him get away with it. I punched him in the face and hung onto him like a bad suit. He punched me, pinched me, kicked at me but I wouldn't let go, I couldn't let go. But he plead guilty and with his DNA it was proven that they had been after for over 3 years for attacking schoolgirls. He was finally off the streets.

Through your courage someone will be taken off the streets and will bot be able to harm anyone else...My response was just anger, yours is strength, and I salute you,

Rhi