[anderson]

Same story different people but so tired of repeating our selves!
In the past two years we have been dealing with people that say that we be with them willing. Now because DID is not commonly known or understood. It has appeared that we have been this way. It seems few people truly understand that with DID that the main survival skill is to keep the abuse from each other.
We told our T today that we have no problem telling people to leave us alone it is the abuse that we have endured afterwards when no one else is around to help us keep safe. That has stopped us from telling people to leave us alone.
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Right now we are dealing with memoirs of abuse that we can not give a date or time to but to us it feels like it just happened yesterday. How can you tell a person that has never lived with abusive programming that you the main person go under when the body is being hurt until those within can clean up the body and hide the burses from you. Heck, they have to accept DID first to even begin to understand how our mind works to keep those with in safe. We are so tired of those that have hurt us then tell everybody their twisted version of the story. It is because of these people that we are having problems with be accepted by those within the community. We starting telling people at church if we do not remember it then it was not consensual.
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We know that there is more that we do not remember. The parts that hurt is that these people have come close to us in public then act like we be the ones to have issues when the knowledge of the abuse is shared. This only happens when we feel safe from more abuse by the person.
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There are those that want us to go back to work but we really do not see the sense of doing this if we still have to live under the weight of those that hurt us and we have no way of protecting our selvs from future abuse by those that have no problem forcing themselves unto us and because of our MI status we are open season for more abuse.
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Just tired and those within are so tired that those that should be helping us still try the number “How well do you remember and are you sure you are not remembering the abuse before you came here? “ I and those with in are so tired of the False memoir syndrome. And if It was false memoir syndrome Then why are these people making a reputation for getting laid by this body with their circle of friends?

[Sannah]

Hi Anderson, what I am hearing is 1) that people don't understand what is going on with you when you cannot protect yourself and they, therefore, believe that you are not a victim but that you are allowing the abuse?

What is your therapist saying about this?

[Hunny]

Anderson,

I am thinking and hoping the very best for you. Please know that there are many of us caring. Take your time, dearest, Anderson (safe ). Do not feel forced and know that building trust with your therapist is the first and most important thing.

Hunny

[anderson]

((((Shannah))))
We do like the new T. It is just letting her get to know us sucks. She has the basic understanding of DID it is just the fact that just as many things are common with those with DID it is also just as different based on how the person deals with it.
It is just the fact that we are dealing with body memoirs and are so tired of hearing how do you know if it is a real memoir that got us going yesterday. Just on the fact that she is open to accept us we give her ten's all the round. But at times we wished that we could mind meld with others so we did not have to deal with the questions is all. WE be so thankfull that we can come here and vent it has saved us so many times now. You are a life saver ,Girl !
(((Hunny)))

Thanks for reminding us to give each other time to get used to the T. The Truth is she has to get to know us too. That we can get to know one another without to many of us running for cover. But we can tell the teens are comiing out more we feel like rollinmg our eyes even more often. We have even told a couple "See my eyes rolling? Now times that by a hundred. That should tell you how we are feeling."
We do feel safe with her as a whole. Its when the memoirs of the past T that come up that makes us act out in fear. But then she did tell us that she was willing to allow all those within learn to trust.

[Sannah]

I see Anderson, I can understand how when a person questions us that this can seem threatening. I learned how to not feel threatened when questioned. Sometimes people are just trying to gather info. I think that you are doing a really good job Anderson!! I feel very honored that I can support you!

[Gr3tta]

Thank you for sharing anderson!
We do so much questioning ourselves, our own memories, our own reactions to things, we HATE it when others question us! We have to work so hard to work out for ourselves what has happened, we do not need outsiders who do not understand us adding their own questioning.
We think you are being very brave trying a new T, and learning to trust. It is very hard work, we know, and we are proud of you for letting T get to know you!
Safest 's for anderson and all within.
~Emma & Ivy