[anderson]

we goto T and talk alot but it seems like we goin an hour then the flood gates open up inside. We are getting so over whelmed by That so many of the people that we thought were helping us wher in fact just using us.

We got really hurt when someone made it a point that we just need to go to work then we can take care of our selfs. How when those that should have been there to help heal us where the same people that be telling others that we not remember then tell them how to hurt us so we can not work as a unit.

We were being hazed by one woman and another could not believe what was happening. That when we told her we once signed a 27,000 loan for a peice of property that was only valued for 5,000 max. We do have the ability to say that she reclamed it under the same condition that we recieved it.

We looked at the person that was busy interrupting us but ignoring us when we talked to her and told her that shunning only works if you do not interrupt the person you do not want to talk to and not making it a point not to allow that person to talk with other people in the room.

We keep trying but the badies keep showing up.

They do not even really know us but just cause we be different . they no like!

We crying cause the ones that we know be of good heart are listen to the ones that hurt us and tell others to hurt us telling them they be helping us, but not.

They cannnot seem to understand that the only time we do not share memiors is when we be hurt but they no want to accept that we be getting hurt both emotionally and physcally by those that say we be with them by choice.

Right when we think that we got them to understand us something happens to make us feel like we are back to square one. We be so tired of being treated like we no know what we do when the abusers get away with hurting us cause they be able to do so for so long. because we unable to get a good T in so long so many have used our fear againts us.

At our sunday gathering we do have those that have hurt us in the past but we have been with out real people to talk to in so long and the fact that the light houses made thwe baddies leave us alone for the first time. Someone cared enough to give us shelter form the storm but now that we remember what they do to us in past we crying cause so few would believe that these people are more then willing to hurt others when they think no one cares.

We sorry but we need to dump it was just whirling in our head.
we know things be better but we just wished we could just make the baddies go away so that we can heal with out fear of being re hurt by those that think making us do stuff out of fear is fun.

Having a T that we are learning to trust after all this time is GREAT but we wished we had a majic wand to change the baddies into frogs!

[Gr3tta]

I am very sorry you have been getting hurt so repeatedly. I not like all the people that want to be mean and hurting and not caring and not believing.
I hope the new T can help you to feel better.
I wish there was a magic wand to turn baddies to frogs! Or make them disappear completely just go *poof*!! You ever find one, you share with us please? ~Polly

[Sannah]

Anderson, it sounds like you will learn how to deal with these people because you are very smart and a fast learner. Are you talking to your T about this?

[Hunny]

Anderson,

Thanks for letting us be a listening ear for you.

Fear can be tricky but we agree with Sabby, you will learn things and teach things with the help of therapy. For taking up this time with the DID therapist, you are to be commended but it is good to go at it at your own pace too.

An hour goes fast when there is so much to say? I hope you can ask for more time if need be but if she is DID therapist I'm pretty sure she already knows it sometimes takes longer per session. More time can help us untangle more but maybe this is trust building time.

Group therapy in my innermost parts is often a bit of a tangle and add outside 'harmers' and it gets tangled, even further. Do you know the people in the group therapy from elsewhere Anderson. Are they some of the unsafe people from your past? If so it does seem as bit scary for you.

[anderson]

Thank you all for letting us be heard. WE finely got to talk to some of the others and we even got the gift of not needing to be polite to those that scare us. Our angel even said from now on just reminder her if some one does not make us feel safe she try to give us space. WE gave her a big hug and she told everyone that she accepts all of us not just a few but all of us. That moment she truly became a mama bear to all of us. It was the fear of being pushed out again but when we go to T she helped our angel understand us better and she still want to go to T with us as we find others to go with us when we are afraid of being hurt.
This place has helped us to recognise our fears so that we can talk more calmly and have others under stand us. Big Tk for all that we get here.

[Sannah]

Very good Anderson! You make progress so quickly!