[invisigirl]

I am not sure why I joined. But I did.. I think mostly because 1) friends kept asking me to and 2) my husband did.

LOTS of my family is on there. I prefer Twitter, where none of my family is.

My oldest brother (sa) and his wife both blocked me when the found I was on there.
My other brother (pa) is also on there... 'friends' with him and his wife.
Also 'friends' with my mom.
Had to block the woman my husband had an affair with when she tried to 'friend' him.
'Friends' with the other woman that he cheated with when we were dating. Ickickick.

To top it all off? On Friday, my mother 'friended' the younger brother of another person who sa me. A friend of the family. I had told her that this guy had abused me, but at the time she was trying to get 'details' from me about my brother sa me and basically said 'I don't care' when I told her.. this feels like another reminder of the fact that she just doesn't care.

And yet, I'm still on stupid facebook. Ickickick.

[jenkins09]

it would seem to me that having FB is only going to reopen wounds that have never healed. Why do you want to put yourself through that? and may I ask another question? why does your husband have a FB account if he used that medium to cheat on you?

Why do we allow this mistreatment of ourselves? at times I question did the abuse destroy all our feelings of self-worth? you dont deserve your mom abandoning you, and then doing it all over again in relation to FB. Be good to yourself.

[invisigirl]

I think it is probably related to self worth. You get so used to being stepped on all the time that you just give up on trying to avoid it and accept that it is just the lot you've been dealt in life...

My husband did not cheat on me via FB. He actually did not sign up on FB until 2 years after his second affair.. those women just happen to be on there too. I think I joined mostly because of the fact the he had joined and I wanted to keep an eye on him, in a way. Not as simple as that really, but more that I feel more comfortable if we have fewer individual relationships (his friends and my friends sort of thing). Up until he joined (which was mostly work reasons), I had avoided it. Despite my friends asking me to join, I had no desire to do so because of the fact that my family is all on there.

[lynn P.]

I think Facebook can be fine for people who have happy families and friends but I think the majority of the time it's a place to fight and bully others. I'm sorry you've bad experiences but I think you'll find many people who've had the same bad experiences.

[invisigirl]

Yeah, it seems as though FB drama is super common. Luckily my family doesn't really 'talk' to me on there.. but then, I don't really update at all. I have a feed from another site that goes into it, but rarely actually get on FB. I have also been sexually harassed by a local guy through FB, so I avoid being on it for fear of him catching me on chat. It's just easier than wrestling with my subconscious need to be polite.

Still, for the most part my family ignores me. So it's kind of like real life.

Then of course, I end up feeling totally stupid and foolish for letting something like 'who my mom is friends with' get to me. I mean, who cares really?

[geez]

invisigirl you can tweak your privacy settings so when you are online no one knows when you are online. Also I believe you can 'group' those on your friends lists into catagories... so for example you can have a 'family group' and anything you post to your other friends your family doesn't see etc.... You can also set your account so people can't find you on FB.

and as a last resort you can delete your account.

Hope you find some peace of mind soon with FB. - The social realm online can be aggravating at times

[invisigirl]

thanks, Geez. I do have a group set up for family and am not search-able on FB. I will have to check out the being invisible when online.. but yeah, I don't spend much time on there and don't really share anything anyway. I think the things that upset me more are like seeing my mom friend someone that is related to an abuser. and it's not so much the being friends with him that bugs me... he's a nice guy, his brother is not. it's just the whole seeing his name on there... seeing his brother's name on there.. it makes me uncomfortable.

[phoenix7]

i can see how seeing their names would upset you - i hope you cna learn to ignore the triggers so that it doesnt affect you

hugs if ok

P7