Confronted my rapist

Through mutual friends, I unwittingly stumbled upon my rapist's FaceBook page. At first I was upset, but I forced myself to look at his pictures, to remember his face. I felt nothing. No panic, no fear, no flashbacks. Just anger.

I sent him this message:

"On October 27, 2007, I made the mistake of being drunk, high, and alone with you in Sami's room. I didn't say "no" until it was too late, and there was no stopping you. I stumbled out of that room after you were done at almost one in the morning and went home without telling anyone where I was going.
Six weeks later, I miscarried with your bastard child. It died because, not knowing I was pregnant, I couldn't stay sober without thinking about that night.
Did you know I said "stop"? Did you care?....Do you care now, that your firstborn child is three and a half years dead?"

Somehow, I feel a sense of relief now that I've had my say. Two years ago, even seeing someone who looked vaguely similar to him would send me into a severe panic attack. Now, I can look at his face and say what I need to say, with very little emotion whatsoever. I daresay that's progress.

Damn straight. Women of the world unite! Seriously. You all are much smarter than us. If only you'd ban together, you'd rule the world.

so brave, your healing continues
Xx

Right now, you are my hero. That took a lot of guts to say, and I'm incredibly happy you did.

I could never imagine doing what you did. I admire your strength so much, you don't even know. Good for you.

Excellent, courageous work, AtreyuFreak.

I am so happy for you that you were able to face your fear and contact him. That is great. It must have been horrible. It's good that it doesn't send you into a panic attack anymore, that's the best thing.

The only thing I would say is to make sure he can't contact you back, because that would make things worse. Plus, if you started a conversation with him through this it just wouldn't be a good thing. You've said your peace but I wouldn't want you to have to deal with a response he would give and it would make things much worse.

Take care, and I wish you all the best,

Unfortunately, I'm not computer-savvy enough to know how to block responses. He did respond; the first message said "what ru talking about". The second, "i dont even know u. how old ru?"

Though I'm slightly puzzled as to why an accusation of rape would incite a question of age, I didn't reply to him. His denial just means he knows it happened and he knows it was wrong.

You can block responses by putting his profile on your block list on your privacy settings, but that would make him invisible to you and you invisible to him. Also, you are so brave!!

congrats on confronting him

unfortuneately, I think that most of the people who do these things do not realize it is 'wrong' or hurtful otherwise they wouldn't be doing it

I'm not sure how facebook works but hopefully other people will see what you wrote and if he hears it enough maybe some of it will sink in

and age has nothing to do with it. it is him trying to justify it is O.K. So in his head, it is wrong if the person is 14 but O.K. if the person is 16.

so again good for you

if everyone stands up and speaks out like you did, the message will be stronger

roses