[Fuzzybear]

forum to post this in. However, as I am a survivor of childhood abuse, I'm posting it here.
And please forgive me for the lack of intimate details

I've recently dealt with a very challenging (and at the time very painful) situation very well. (not on pc). I doubt if a year or so I'd have dealt with it so well as there were many many triggers of severe abuse for me, where I was being abused....Several people were involved, one of whom "instantiated" an abuser, although they were not an abuser (imo) The term "instantiated" is from a good friend who I talk to regularly (maybe not completely the right term)

Also there was a lot of "transference" on my part... (not talked about although I think one of the parties realised... they said they understand me better than I realise as they were once me,...... this was not the person who "instantiated" the "abuser(s)"

I feel like crap but I'm still standing. And moving forward!

(and its scary to post this )

(wondering if I'm talking about abuse "for the sake of it"...I don't think so... but how many of us completely understand ourselves (rhetorical question)... a friend said this and I didn't like it at the time but I respect them and care about them. And wondering about deleting the ***** post. sigh)

[Elysium]

Fuzzy....

I'm proud of you for writing your feelings!! I'm so sorry that you live with this pain, but I am very happy you are able to feel you handled this recent situation well. Some times for those of us with trauma backgrounds, handling something well means something different than it would to someone who hasn't been through trauma.

Please remember, no matter what anyone says, you are entitled to validation of your thoughts and feelings, especially from yourself. I hope you choose not to delete this right away. Sit with it for a while and see if you can feel okay with it in the open. Even if you do delete it, I am glad you chose to share it for the time being.

I'm always here for you....whether you use your words or you use your symbols or you just watch from the distance. What you feel....it's important....and it's okay, no matter what it is.

Safe hugs for you tonight and always! ((((( )))))

[SoupDragon]

It' so great to hear that you feel you have dealt with something well. Also for being able to post it when it seems you have some negative feelings about that.

I find it so hard being open about myself and I really appreciate hearing about the strength others have to do these difficult things, it kinda of gives me a little strength too - so thank-you.

[eskielover]

glad you were able to express yourself about this today & glad you have grown stronger over the years to be able to handle difficult situations in a better way.

It's interesting because when I was young (many many years ago), I would hold in things now knowing how to verbalize what I was experiencing......it would grow inside of me to be even larger than it initially was (nothing I went through as a child was serious or really bad, but it seemed like it at the time). It would grow inside of me until I would end up sick to my stomach......but as soon as I was able to figure out how to let it out & express what had happened....that release was amazing how much better I ended up feeling.

I know when we are not allowed or encouraged to express our feelings when we are growing up, we don't develop the skills for doing it. When we realize later on in life that we really need to express what is inside of us because otherwise, it ends up staying inside & eating us up with pain.....the learning skills process seems to be more difficult the older we are...probably because we use more of out thought processes in developing the skills than we do when we are young & just seem to grow into the skills.

Glad you are expressing yourself more & more & being able to hold onto the expressions more & more also. Developing new skills is a difficult process, but it's so wonderful seeing you working on it & successfully holding onto it when you do.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I've recently dealt with a very challenging (and at the time very painful) situation very well. ... I doubt if a year or so I'd have dealt with it so well

Very good!! You are moving forward!!

[shezbut]

Fuzzybear

I think that it's great that you are seeing improvement within your ability to handle major stress. That is wonderful!

[Can't Stop Crying]

I'm proud of you for verbalizing your feelings and making changes in the way you handle stress! Good for you! Keep moving in that direction!