they expect you to just TELL

I am having to find a new T in a new city next month. I will be making no money as a student so I am going through a low-cost counseling agency. Today I had to talk to their intake guy and first of all he was SO AWKWARD. He just did not know the words to use and was totally halting and when I was uncomfortable, he kept trying to reassure me but doing it ALL WRONG.

Then he asked what I wanted to go to therapy for. And I was like, "anxiety, relationship problems..." and then sighed and cringed and said, "trauma history, stuff like that." Even that was enough to make me want to crawl under the bed and die. And then he said, "You said a trauma history. What was the nature of that? Was it physical, sexual, was it within the family.." and the way he said it, it was clear he was uncomfortable asking, because he kept halting, and I was just like, "Um, it was different things. Um, yes I guess (OMG I AM GOING TO DIE) some was in the (mumble--) family." And then he was like, "And was it mostly physical in nature or...? What was the nature?" And it kept going like this for a little longer and finally I kind of yelled at him, "SEXUAL trauma, OKAY?" And then I had a panic attack, while he is going on and on about how he is glad I told him because that helps him assign my case and blah blah blah.

BUT HOW CAN THEY EXPECT YOU TO JUST TELL LIKE THAT??????? TO A TOTAL STRANGER ON THE PHONE?????? AND A MAN! OMG OMG OMG. I feel so nauseous, I really think I might puke.

Has anyone else been totally SHOCKED that there is this expectation??! To just TELL, just like that?

(((((Jexa)))))) I'm sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately it happens, especially in an organization where different Ts have different specialties - it does help to know some background in order to help you get the best T possible. Not that that's much comfort though because saying that can be very hard. When you get in to see a T there, perhaps offer some constructive criticism about the manner the intake interview was conducted?

yeah, its tough. ... needed but, that doesn't make it easy. sorry you went through that!

Well I don't think it was the best approach but perhaps it will lead you to someone kinder that specializes in that area.

I am soo sorry, but at least you can say, it's over, done, you did it. Not the best way to handle it on their part. Once you get assigned to a therapist you can mention that and maybe they will address it.

I think it would have been better if you were given a form that could have been a multiple choice quiet questionaire that you could have descretly filled out.

Open Eyes

Well, as you realized from the beginning, the guy obviously wasn't the best at his job.

Couldn't you have said that you'd rather not say? Or that you weren't comfortable getting into specifics?

There are people are just completely open about stuff like that.
I've come across people who are fine with saying they were sexually abused as a child, or r*ped or whatever - not going into details or anything - but just that it happened.

If that's not your style, that's ok and just because they are asking a question, does not mean you have to give answer.
But I do agree with the others who said that maybe since you did give an honest answer, hopefully that will result in them being able to match you up better with a great T!
So hopefully it will all work out for the best in the end.

(((((((((((Jexa)))))))))))

I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. They really should have someone who is trained to be able to do this comfortably. I would also suggest talking to someone about your experience (maybe the t you see if you go there?) It sounds like he needs more training. Good luck in finding a T.

That situation would have been one of the few times I would have been grateful for a form to fill out. Checking boxes is hard enough...saying the words.........

Yuk. Sounds like he was in training or very new. I remember going to a public mental health center and the doctors were all foreign born / English as a second language, or right out of college. I couldn't deal with it for long. Luckily I got some coverage when we changed insurance and changed doctors. But I sympathise. And having to name all that stuff. Thank goodness it was on the phone. I mean, if it was so easy to name it we wouldn't need the damn therapy. Right? After my first round of therapy I resisted for years because the thought of having to name it all with someone new was just overwhelming.

Good luck! Hope the process gets better.

Ugh! That was soooooo insensitive of him to expect you to just tell him over the phone I don't know what I would have done (either tell him I can't do it over the phone, or just flat out hang up!) but that was inappropriate and I am so sorry he put you in that position!

(((( jexa ))))

BLECH!!! That sounds just awful!

I recall going to a pdoc for the first time, and he was nonchalant and just outright asking all sorts of personal questions...asking me to describe what happened, etc. etc. At my first (and last) visit...OMG, I wanted to die....It was awful.

He then went straight for the gusto, making recommendations that struck me at my core....

I was so uncomfortable with the experience that I never went back....even though I know he was doing what he needed to do in order to help me with meds....

doesnt sound like he was any good Mixed up emotions - a good therapist leads you gently through jmo not hits you over the head until it doesnt hhurt anymore

i wish everyone here well

I hear ya....My T follows my lead, and takes things at the pace I need to go.....he referred me to this pdoc that was at his office just for meds, not therapy...It was awful though....and then he left the practice as he was moving out of state. I never told T why I didn't go back to him. I told him that I wasn't going back - but wasn't ready to talk about why. It's STILL hard to talk about...and that's not a good sign when it's about an appt with a pdoc!