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  #1  
Old Dec 15, 2005, 04:21 PM
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growingflower growingflower is offline
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I had a very abusive childhood, physically, emotionally, neglect, no love, no nothing, I didn't matter to anyone.
I have been in therapy since this Jan. because I was suffering from PTSD because my abuser (my mother) reappeared in my life after cutting off the relationship for 4 years. Well I have worked through the PTSD, and am no longer suffering from that.
Well last week, I had a kitchen accident, and it triggered some forgotten memories of abuse. My T wants to do EMDR on this on my next appointment. But I think since my appointment this week, I am okay about it, I am not having any more nightmares.

Well anyways, I just wonder if you suffered child abuse, will you always be "sensitive to it". Like being triggered. Sometimes I get very angy when I see a parents being unkind to a child, I have always felt like this even as a child. Is this something you just have to learn to live with. It is almost like the effects will never go away, so you need to learn how to life with it. I my T says I am functioning at a high level, but then something happens and I get really bothered by it.
So I guess I am rambling on here, but do you think it is just something you have learn to live with? Any experience ?

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  #2  
Old Dec 15, 2005, 07:36 PM
SleepsWithButterFlies SleepsWithButterFlies is offline
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I think the degree of the effects of the triggering is what gets less in time..I do not trigger easy and had a LOT of abuse in all ways.....but time and all and T's have made a huge difference and I guess defense mechanisms
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I think being abused effects you forever(long post)

  #3  
Old Dec 17, 2005, 11:58 AM
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((((((((((((growingflower))))))))))))))

I have faith that you can continue to grow and heal. And even the parts that are still hurt from the past, can be used for good in the present.
  #4  
Old Dec 17, 2005, 07:22 PM
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growingflower growingflower is offline
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Thanks, I just wonder if I will always be sensitive to it. Maybe i won't "really" get upset, but I think it will alway make me a little sad when I see a parent being unkind. I hope i am wrong though. It would be wonderful to make it all go away.
  #5  
Old Dec 17, 2005, 07:26 PM
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growingflower growingflower is offline
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You know I have been thinking about what I could do to turn that "anger" into something positive. Like volunteer for stop abuse charities. The only problem is that my T is very involved in that, and I don't think it is a good idea to "follow" him. I don't have a problem with seeing him outside of the office, I do every week at the gym. But I don't want him to think I am doing it because of him, and not the good of the organization.

I hope I can heal, I guess it takes a long time, it has been almost a year of therapy. But my T has been "priceless" in helping me become a better person. Thanks for the hugs, I appreciate it. I think being abused effects you forever(long post)
  #6  
Old Dec 19, 2005, 03:37 AM
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Mostly I function okay, but othertimes I get triggered by stuff too. Just when you thought you had forgotten or moved on from it something happens and all the memories and feelings and fears come back up again. I think of them as temporary setbacks. Sometimes I need to take a couple of days out when I get triggered. Less over time though, less over time.
  #7  
Old Dec 19, 2005, 03:38 AM
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I don't know whether talking about it helps or not.
I don't know.
Sometimes I think that it helps to get it out in measured doses.
Othertimes I think that doing that only makes its recurrance more likelyl.

I'm not sure.

Maybe it is different for different people?

I don't know.
  #8  
Old Dec 19, 2005, 02:04 PM
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desirae desirae is offline
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I would like to reply to this, because I to was hurt as a child, Personally how I deal with this issue you mentioned is I accept that it was once apart of my life, and now I'm free from that experience. We'll never forget what had happened to us, but well move on, and learn from the experience. What I've learned from the experiences from my childhood is to do the complete opposite with my children. Even if you don't have children these experiences can teach you many things like life has pain and suffering, I accept that, and I'll do my best with my future, and hopefully one day reach the ultimate grace.
I'm glad your doing well with this. I hope I could have helped.
Desirae
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I think being abused effects you forever(long post)
  #9  
Old Dec 19, 2005, 05:47 PM
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growingflower growingflower is offline
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I am glad you posted and said what you did. Yeah, it feels like a setback. I guess it is best to learn how to deal with it when it happens. I plan on talking about this with my therapist this week. I guess I need a reality check.
  #10  
Old Dec 19, 2005, 05:49 PM
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growingflower growingflower is offline
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Thanks Desirae,
I too have kids 9 and 10yrs old (14months apart) and I have also stopped the cycle of abuse. I think it is something we can be proud of . Yes, your post helped me, thanks!
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