[Therapy66]

Hello Group. I'm seeking advice on how to discuss my extensive childhood abuse. No one other then my female doctor and therapists even know, and that was only disclosed just about 2yrs ago. So that's about 35yrs since it happened. I will not discuss it with any maie, (I know, that macho crap), but would like some advice on how to open up freely with all my conditions ... PTSD, depression, anxiety and childhood sexual abuse survivor. Whenever certain topics are brought up. I just shut down and any progress made, is lost. All these things are really effecting my day to day life, big time. Does anyone have any advice on how to openly discuss these things, without shutting down? Again, discussing these things with a male is almost immpossible for me, so advice from the female perspective would be greatly appreciated. Thank You!

[yellowted]

i found it really helpful to write about my abuse, once i started the words and emotions flooded out, once i had finished, well got to a stable place in myself i asked a really good friend who i truseted if she knew how i could get something published, i did not want it publishing, but it was a way to get her curiosity going, she asked me a few times if she could read it before i was really ready to let her, i had prepared her for the goryness of it by saying things like ... it is a story about my past, it is about how i was treated, it is not nice, it is pretty graphic....gradually releasing a bit more each time she asked to read it until i was sure she understood the nature of it, then i let her read it, once she had everything changed, we became much closer, and i then had someone to talk to . I do not think everyone needs to know, but those close to you do . I told the rest of my family through a letter, kind of a 'i don't come home anymore, but that does not mean i do not want contact with you, only not with ..... because in .... x happened and made me feel ..... now i need to take care of myself and have made the decision that to do so i need distance between me and ...... hope this is of help x

[Therapy66]

Thank you. The trouble I'm having is opening up to my female doctor and tharapists. Not only is it hard for me to discuss my sexual abuse at all, but when I finally did, the out patient psych center I go to, is constantly switching up the therapists all the time. So just when you finally take a step forward, it seems like taking 10 steps back when assigned another new therapist. It's beyond frustrating and just make me close up again, because my trust issues are also a product of my abuse. I have NO family left at all, they've all passed away and I haven't been in a relationship in quite awhile, cause I don't think it would be fair to her to bring all this excess baggage, that I have only just begun to scratch the surface of. And there's NO was I will ever discuss this with the few friends I have. I think it all comes down to the shame and embarassment I feel and the guilt I guess I'm still feeling over this matter too, not to mention my other mental health conditions. Some related, some not. Thanks

[skeksi]

Ugh, of course you don't want to share when they are changing up therapists all the time!Nobody with trust issues from abuse would like that. Particularly for survivors, building a good relationship with the T is a key part of treatment. A therapeutic relationship is one of the best ways to get all this out in the open, because it is so much safer than our other relationships.

Is there any way you can ask them for more stability in your T so that you can build a relationship? It seems like if your T is always changing, you can't have a steady treatment plan.

[Sannah]

When you shut down in therapy can you share with the T that you just shut down because of the topic?