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#1
Aug 18, 2011, 02:21 PM
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Is there such a thing?
My husband knows I have issues with intercourse (both mental and physical), but yet at times he either refuses to stop, or begs me to not make him stop, and I feel guilty and like I have to "be a good wife" and let him finish. Is this abuse? Or is it not abuse since I don't verbally say no and let it happen? 
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#2
Aug 18, 2011, 02:35 PM
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intercourse without your consent is rape. It doesn't matter what relation if any, the person has to you..
I assume he knows how you feel? If not, TELL him in no uncertain terms, and if he continues, it means he doesn't care how you feel....and it IS abuse and rape. |
 googley, Miracle1986
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#3
Aug 18, 2011, 03:13 PM
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Quote:
I had same issue 
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| Miracle1986
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#4
Aug 18, 2011, 03:29 PM
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It is real, and happened to me, in my first marriage. My ex husband didn't consider it rape, because although I cried, and threw up, I didn't ask him to stop.
__________________
Here I sit so patiently Waiting to find out what price You have to pay to get out of Going through all these things twice. |
| Miracle1986
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#5
Aug 18, 2011, 04:28 PM
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so what, .... men are supposed to read minds?
 argh!I'm a woman and I know that women can cry for all sorts of reasons-- even when they're happy, or when something tender touches their soul..... how can a man, or any human for that matter, truly know how another person feels if one doesn't use decisive words? hollywood and porn can also portray women as being repulsed or despise sex and yet still "want" it....  poor men-- some must be so confused at times men are generally(I KNOW not all are-- but generally) taught all their childhood, to NOT show emotions-- I believe emotions can be strange to some of them. If a woman wants to get an important point across-- she should consider where her partner is as far as emotions and understanding her, she can use words and speak straight to the point. Women (IMO) are generally(again-- NOT all- but generally) in tuned to emotions more, since they (usually most-- but NOT all) are given the luxury to grow up expressing them. I hope you will really TALK to him-- let him know why you feel as you do-- explain, explain and explain-- if he understands and cares about you-- he will heed your wishes. IMO-- it is rape if the spouse truly HEARS the word NO and yet continues. I'm sorry you are having a hard time with things.  best to you fins
__________________
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| Miracle1986, Sannah
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#6
Aug 18, 2011, 05:56 PM
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Yes, it is abuse. Are you able to tell him how you feel?
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#7
Aug 18, 2011, 05:57 PM
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Another note: Making love/having sex should be consensual for both people and if one person wants/needs to stop, his/her feelings should be respected.
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| Miracle1986
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#8
Aug 18, 2011, 10:26 PM
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Quote:
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#9
Aug 19, 2011, 08:19 AM
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What are you going to do Miracle?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#10
Aug 23, 2011, 06:11 PM
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Quote:
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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| Sannah
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#11
Aug 23, 2011, 09:02 PM
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Do you have a therapist you can discuss this with? You may need to find a good therapist. Perhaps a therapist that also does relationship counceling.
It sounds like you need someone that can help you, you don't deserve to feel this way. You are not communicating with your husband, he is not getting it. Open Eyes |
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