[Nemo39122]

What led to this is a long and slightly complicated story. Basically, my dad is leaving "home" pretty soon and moving, probably to a different country. And yes, it's because of "family" issues, not just a job transfer or anything like that. So why am I putting that in this forum? Because most of the past abuse was from him. So this is good news, right?

I should be happy, right?

I don't know if I am. Yeah, I want him gone. I grew up wishing he would just leave and never have contact with me, my brother, or my mom again. Now that almost that exact thing is happening, I don't know how I feel. I am happy that this will most likely cut off all contact with him (I was working on that anyway, but it's hard when we live together). It's depressing in some ways though. It makes everything more real. Almost like I can't even try to pretend things are fine now. I don't know what to think, what to feel...I just don't know.

[Sannah]

Nemo, what you wrote makes perfect sense. We all have a need for a good dad and maybe this is what you are longing for?

[Astridetal]

I agree what you wrote makes sense. Maybe now you feel more confronted with the reality tha tyour father was abusive. Besides, he may be gone but the effects from the abuse are not. I can totally understan dyour mixed feelings.

[Nemo39122]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Nemo, what you wrote makes perfect sense. We all have a need for a good dad and maybe this is what you are longing for?

Probably. Alot of that type of thing has been coming up in the past few months, so it really wouldn't surprise me if that's most of it. Another thing I think I mentioned already is how it just makes everything seem more real. I always had this weird thought about how since my family probably appeared normal to the outside world, maybe things aren't as bad as I thought. This kind of ruins that, but I still think it's a good thing.

[googley]

(((((((((((((Nemo)))))))))))))

It is hard when there are big changes. Even big changes. Changes are stressful.

Are you looking into T?

[bebop]

I have to say yes it does make sense but what I experienced with my mom was that I wanted so bad to be away from her abuse. She died when I was like 35. I felt so many emotions at the time from relief to anger to disappointment to happiness all rolled into one. what I feel now at 54 is I wish I could talk to her again. I did love her very much but I did not like her. One thing I was taught all my life is as long as there was breath there was hope and I tried to live by that. I hope you can repair before he leaves.