[Purple Heart]

I have to maintian separation from my family they are driving me crazy. I'm only in contact with my brother, anyone else in a similar position?

[unaluna]

No contact at all. literally killing me, when I had a holter monitor some years ago, I exercised, fooled around, etc, the only time the thing showed a blip was at sunday family dinner!

[shezbut]

(((purple heart)))

Yes. I have cut all contact between myself and family members. It's something that I needed to do, for myself, to gain stop myself from feeling knocked down. Insignificant. Wrong.

It has been around one month since I came straight out and told them to give me space. Don't call or write to me please. Thank you for understanding.

It felt sad to me, and kind of surreal. I questioned whether it was really necessary for me to take an official break, rather than simply avoiding the family. Part of me wishes that I would get a sincerely loving family if I were to accept them back into my life. Thoughts like that make me realize that I still have not accepted the reality of my family. I'm not ready yet.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by shezbut

knocked down. Insignificant. Wrong.

I feel EXACTLY THE SAME WAY around them. Not exactly growing, loving, accepting, positive words.

[Elysium]

I'm in an all too similar situation.

The more I work in therapy and learn healthy skills, the further and further I have to pull away from most of my family. They are so toxic that they seem to be pulling me down any time I let them get near me.

It makes it really difficult because I have a really nice relationship with a few of my family members and it makes it so hard to go to family functions to be near to them. It's always stressful and painful emotionally.

I am also just starting to get to know my Brother again and he has a little girl who is three and she is the secret joy in my life. I love him dearly, and I think of his daughter as my own, though he probably doesn't know that. I feel so protective of her and when my other family is around, I feel very protective of her which makes things even harder.

I'm so sorry that you find yourself in a similar situation. It's not easy at all, and I wish that no one had to experience the pain and stress that this causes.

I'm around if you ever need to talk.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Purple Heart))))

Thank you for reaching out. You are not alone. I have broken all contact with my family. It was not safe and it was only pulling me farther down to the point that I was resigned to die. I have even had to go to the extent of having an unlisted and blocked number to keep them from calling. And moved as far away as I could to find safety, and even that has not stopped them at times.

With each step I have taken over these last few years it was something I had to do in order to continue on and to get to a place where I could begin to work on myself or even find any part of myself. The truth is in order to break the cycle and to heal it was something I had to do. The guilt and continued abuse that they were pushing on me was more than I could take. I had not yet realized that the guilt was not mine so it was very easy for them to use that against me.

I have even had to separate myself from my children because they were using them to get to me and to find out information. As much as it hurts for myself for now it has to be that way. They are in so much denial and are not able to break out of the hold and lies that engulf them. The fear of going back is so real that even writing this I feel myself shaking and wanting to leave myself to find safety somewhere within.

One thing I have learned is that family does not have to be blood to be family and I have been blessed now with a family that cares, understands, and accepts me for who I am, all parts of myself. Those who have believed in me even when I could not believe in myself. PC has also become a part of my family and for that I am truly grateful and blessed.

I still fear all the time and am constantly watching over my shoulder never knowing if or when someone from there could come but I am also learning to be for the first time and slowly beginning to find out who I am and who I want to be. I know that I cannot control what they do or what they say, I can only control myself. For me this has given me life and strength that I never knew I had.

Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[Purple Heart]

Thanks people for your kind words. It's good to know I'm not alone. I need space now for healing it's my only choice left.

[Purple Heart]

Just another thing do any of you feel like you were born in the wrong family? NO one really understands me and I feel so different from my siblings and extended family. Any thoughts of same experience?

[Mediator]

Originally Posted by Purple Heart

Thanks people for your kind words. It's good to know I'm not alone. I need space now for healing it's my only choice left.

You are not alone. But I cuted off all my family including my brother so you can find that you got a brother with whom you communicate.

[mistyeyed]

Originally Posted by Purple Heart

I have to maintian separation from my family they are driving me crazy. I'm only in contact with my brother, anyone else in a similar position?

Coming across this thread at this moment is pretty great. The batshit that is my family has probably shortened my lifespan about 15 years. I'm on the same boat as Shezbut in the sense that I still maintain the idea that if i should choose to patch things up, everything will be decent and normal. That's also how I know i haven't accepted my reality as well.

[wackywidow]

Originally Posted by Purple Heart

I have to maintian separation from my family they are driving me crazy. I'm only in contact with my brother, anyone else in a similar position?

Families can be full of difficult situations to handle. However, my first question is, "How are they driving you crazy?". The second is, "Why must you maintain separation. What does separation mean here?".

I came from a family of five. My mother was the only one who really understood me. Dad suffered from PTSD from WWII and was not understanding at all. My two sisters are somewhat distant. They blame me for creating the distance, and that is not the true picture, but it IS the way they see it. I have to accept that and meet them at a common point in their lives.

I suspect part of it is due to the fact that they do not believe in my mental health issues. They do not think they are "real" ... like it is all a put-on. I think they feel it is a ploy to gain attention. The painful part is that I still love them dearly but I cannot make them understand me. It seems that to maintain contact with them requires me to take the initiative of calling them. It is seldom, the other way around.

Rest assured, you are not alone in this situation. Remain calm and enjoy the brother you have. It is better than none at all. Hollerback when you want to.

[wackywidow]

Originally Posted by Purple Heart

Just another thing do any of you feel like you were born in the wrong family? NO one really understands me and I feel so different from my siblings and extended family. Any thoughts of same experience?

I sure do. I am closer to my extended family than my blood family. I have been with them longer. I sincerely believe we are born into our biological families to prepare us for our extended families. Blood families are important but I wonder f we put too much importance on that and miss the whole point of what our extended families mean to us.

However, I do miss those old time family reunions I grew up with.

[happy101]

Yes, this is what happened to me unintentionally.Thanks for posting.It makes me feel no so alone.I have my created family whom are my dear friends and their parents and more friends. No one talks about my abuser (mother).They just like me and my husband