Questions

Must someone who was abused necessarily remember the abuse since the day it happened?
Is it possible to get memories a few years after it happened?
I’ve heard there is no such thing as “repressed memories”…
Why would someone make this up if it never happened?? How is it possible to remember things that never happened????

I'm not an expert, but I think the answer is no, you don't have to remember it from the day it happened for it to be real. I suppose there are some people who intentionally "make it up" for attention, but I'd bet they are few and far between. Plus, their actions, personailities and etc. wouldn't match the story they were telling.

I have no idea if there are such things as repressed memories, but I know that I'm still unable to remember many things I "know" happened. Sometimes I get flashbacks of what occurred, often I'll "see" it in a dream, but they're not true memories. I have heard and I believe that when I feel fully safe, I'll be able to remember them. Until then, I just learn how to deal with the unanswered questions and try to honor my past by living as well now as I can.

I hope you can find a safe place to talk about what you DO remember and hope that you can come to terms with whatever happened to you. PC is a great place for this, but a therapist who has experience dealing with trauma work is also very helpful, and I hope you have/will get this for yourself. You're worth the time and investment!

I dont remember much before the age of 12. We tend to block out memories of abuse because they are painful and difficult to cope with. This is typically what people are referring to when talking about repressed memories. A few years ago, in my mid forties, many memories came back to me in the form of flashbacks. It was very distressing and led to a nervous breakdown.

I don't remember much before the age of about 12 either. I know there was some abuse because my siblings and mom remember it, but I don't. So if I don't remember it, I must have blocked out the painful memories. I'm in therapy now to help deal with problems from my childhood.

I would say no and yes I do believe you can get memories years and years past and to your 3rd ? I am not sure why "repressed memories" would have anything to do with anyone remembering years away. I wish you well and btw, great ???'s, Crew

1) No, you don't have to remember ever since it happened. We didn't, I remembered the physical and emotional abuse for the most part, but not the sexual abuse at all, it was completely blocked off from me.

2) Yes, it took 10 years for me to remember.

3) Repressed memories exist.

I think some people lie, but also if you spontaneously recover memories on your own, they're more likely to be the truth (I think?).

It isnt possible to remember something that never happened. This is a defense and backlash abusers use to not be held responsible for their actions. If you work with a reputable T, they are extremely careful to let you arrive at your own memories and not suggest any.

for me, my sexual abuse was never talked about. in other words, the abuse was swept under the rug. BUT....
7 years ago i had enough of the nightmares, flashbacks, and triggers and i made it known i remember the abuse and it was paralyzing me.
this was part of my healing.