[BrokenNBeautiful]

I don't know if this is the appropriate place to post this. I scanned this board and there is only talk here about physical and emotional abuse, but not s*x*al abuse.

Is there a forum on here about that?

I need to address that.

I was abused by a woman as a child; by my aunt and I am in touch with the fact that I am even more afraid of any kind of intimacy with females than I am with males.

I am a survivor of abuse by a woman.

This isn't as common but it happens.

Someone somewhere posted a thread about their abuser dying.

Well, my aunt died last year and I have a lot conflicting emotions about her.

Now I am making a woman friend and I am afraid of her, even though she is good for me to be with.

She seems to be bringing up a lot of feelings in me.

A lot of pain.

Billi

[WePow]

Abusers come in both genders. Sorry to hear that you were abused. It takes courage to pick up the heart and realize that not everyone is like our abuser.

[darkrunner]

Yes, you can post about that in this forum.
I'm sorry you went through that.
Keep posting if it helps.

[roxyskater]

There are alot of woman who abuse, you are not alone, I am sorry this happened to you. Just take your relationship nice and slow and you will know if it is right for you. It can be a scary thing, I know...and Im sorry she did that to you. Now that she has passed maybe you can move on and face those feeling and fears better now. Please take good care of yourself and keep us posted on how you are feeling....we are all here for you.

SIncerely,

Roxy

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Billi here.

I just tried to register on a forum and they want to "preview" newbies first before *notifying of membership*.

I really hate it when I go all out to get support and get a door shut in my face.

What information do they need for g*d's sake?

anyway, Lia helped me sleep this morning.

I am still so afraid to trust her.

I seem to be even angrier about women abusers than men abusers.

I wonder why.

B.

A step at a time; a day at a time. We learn to find and return to the path of healing and a more meaningful life.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thank you

B.

[emilyjeanne]

Welcome. People post here about s****l abuse too.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I will look harder for their posts then.

B.

[michele#3]

I understand I was abused my people of both genders.

[amante]

Billi,

Reach out for all the support you can get, I'm sure this is a very difficult thing to try to heal from. Take one day at a time with your new woman in your life.

[Kiya]

Billi - you're in the right forum. I was abused first by my mom and grandmother (dad's mom). s*xually. Then i was likewise abused by dad... then a teacher, then a friend's dad, experienced r*pe by my dad for several years, and then r*pe by a neighbor (another sort of friend's dad). I don't even try for relationships - they are so hard. I am totally weirded out by women. I merely go docile around men. I don't like either reaction, so i tend to stay hermited. One mentor is becoming my friend and that is really hard. am wanting to stay with it, but... i guess it helps me see where i bump up against the hard places. kiya

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Billi))))

Thank you for posting. I think you are doing a great job opening up and taking a chance to reach out. You are in the right place and there are many here that know what you are saying. I am one of those people. Being abuse by a woman is hard to talk about. Maybe it is because we are women or maybe it is because women are suppose to be care takers. Especially when they are mothers or aunts, etc. For me she was suppose to love me and care about me yet it was not that way.

Your feelings are real and I validate how you feel. I know I felt betrayed and my trust of women has taken a long time to feel and even still there are times when I am unsure. When trust is broken it takes a long time to get it back as it should. Trusting someone right away is a way to get hurt again. Taking your time is important, not just for those of us who have been abused but for everyone. But for those of us who have had that trust broken it is smart to take our time and to be cautious.

Take one day at a time, one minute at a time, even one second at a time if that is the only way you can take it. Many times I can only take one second at a time but that is okay. You are okay and you are important. What you feel is imporatant. Just keep reaching out as you can and please keep us posted about how you are doing. I know it is hard so just do the best you can.

Thank you for posting and know that we hear you, we validate how you feel, and we care and are here for you. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I think I am angrier at women perpetrators than at men perps. I am torn apart right now because she died and I have mixed feelings about her.

B.

You're definitely not alone. I can relate too. I was SA by my mother.

I know it is so so hard to trust and connect with other women. Plus there's this added stigma and shame attached to it because it was another woman abusing a girl. I haven't told anyone other than 2 people because I am so sure that people wouldn't believe a mother could do that.

For me, what has been most healing (though VERY VERY difficult) is connecting with a safe, well-trained female therapist. I know not everyone can go down that road, however. The transference is unbearable at times. But ultimately, it's been worth it.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I don't have any girlfriends now, maybe cause of this. To women, I am either a sex object or someone for them to push around. If they don't sexually abuse me, they verbally abuse me.

I don't trust men either, but I think I feel more comfortable with them.

B.

[AShadow721]

I hope you will find out what is right for you. I mean, whether to date men or women. Just take it slow like others have said, with dealing with the abuse and dating.

I have been abused by both genders. I have posted about some of it in this forum too. You are in the right forum.

billi_leli, I have also been sexually abused by a woman, my mom. Like you, I have also hesitated whether this forum is the appropriate place to post.

I am currently dealing with memories triggered by an older woman that volunteered in the same library I used to volunteer in. She reminded of my mother.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thank you.

Lia and I broke up last month and I decided to stay with my husband.

I think I am bi, not gay and I feel more comfortable with Dane; at least I know he loves me.

b.

[Uller]

I have been quite frustrated at the lack of information available about female offenders and normally just read the forums but when I read your post I wanted to add that I have found a couple of places that have some help for survivors of female offenders. Being new I am not sure if it is appropriate or not to place links so I will play it safe and not do so. The one website is called female-offenders with the dash and the other is called what about when mom is the abuser? Other than that you might try male survivors also. I hope that is of some help to you.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am looking at the sites now.

If anyone has heard of a support forum specifically for survivors (male and female) of women abusers, I am all "ears".

thanks,

Billi

[Kiya]

Oh gosh there are many on the net. I used to be a part of several. Just google what you are looking for and you'll find them (sad, isn't it? that there are so so so sooooooooooooooooo many people hurt?).
Best,

Originally Posted by billi_leli

I am looking at the sites now.

If anyone has heard of a support forum specifically for survivors (male and female) of women abusers, I am all "ears".

thanks,

Billi

[Hippie]

Billi, think maybe people don't think women would abuse because we're filled with that "gentler sex" idea. But it sure does happen and it's certainly not your fault.

[Kiya]

Sorry - I need to amend my earlier statement, I was thinking general, not women specific *duh*. yeah, not so much. I did check out those other links, too. good to have them.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

thanks.

I am once again thinking about this woman I met thru a lover last year. His sister, who had abused him as a child.

She is now serving time in prison for abusing clients at her workplace as a massage therapist. she would ask male and female clients out on dates and act s*xaully inappropriate while working on them.

My blood still BOILS when I think about her or her name pops into my mind.

I still want to kill her! (will not act on this).

Billi