My dad sexually abused my sister my 2 brothers, 2 nieces and my cousin, He will be arrested very soon.

Point of this post is, I have my suspisions that my dad has abused my daughter too My kids often stayed at my mum and dads when they were younger, I am rather close to my sister even though we have had our ups and downs, but I can't help but feel rather bitter towards her, She knew what my dad was capable of so why didn't she warn me about him? In fact she would encourage me to ask my mum and dad to mind my kids. She has even said that she would look out for me when I was younger in case my dad abused me, I don't believe her cos why didn't she do that with my kids, Also why did she leave her own kids with him?

My brother who abused me I would never leave my kids with him, I am confused.

[Open Eyes]

Oh, I don't blame you for being confused, I would be confused. Your sister must be in some kind of denial. You have to watch out for your own children and maybe you should invite conversations with your children to see if they were harmed.

Open Eyes

Thank you open eyes.

Must say though I thought I would get more replies than this, Maybe I am in the wrong

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( buttercup ))))))))))))

[needfixing]

your not in the wrong, infact listen to your gut and react to it too.
ask your children questions, maybe your dad told your children not to say anything.
your sister is in denial, and lost her self worth.
i wouldn't trust your sister either with your children. (((hugs)))

[SophiaG]

Yes i would definately ask your children if he ever touched them inappropriately.

[purple_fins]

I think abuse affects EVERYONE differently. You felt a strong sense of protectiveness for others. that is certainly commendable.

I think your sister is possibly damaged in a different way than you(not more or less-- just different).... her mind is hers and yours is yours. The dynamics of her abuse was different than yours and since her mind is her own, it might not work in the same way at coping as yours does.

anyway-- I hope you can get the info from your children as to whether they were harmed or not.

I'm sorry for all your family's suffering.

fins

Thanks, I have asked my kids many times and they have said "no" I still have my doubts though especially about my youngest daughter, I just know the signs

I just don't get why my sister did not warn me about dad.She knew my kids were at risk.

I have gone into invisible mode atm.

[SoupDragon]

Hi Buttercup, I can really understand your confusion with this - I have no answers or advice as I find it equally confusing.

Yes maybe your sister was in denial - I can think of no other reason why she would have encouraged you to leave your children there. Are you able to ask her?

Hugs - Soup