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#1
Dec 17, 2011, 07:17 PM
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My T knows about these sexualassaults that happened but I couldnt get into it. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Yesterday T said she Dxed me PTSD because of sudden unexpected death of sis at 9 but the first pic in my mind were of these situations. UGH!!!
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 birdnesthair, kaliope, needfixing, pbutton
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 Anonymous32463
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#2
Dec 17, 2011, 08:02 PM
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I'm so sorry you're haunted by the memories of what happened to you. I can't imagine what it's like to be in that position. I hope you find the strength to overcome and move forward from what happened to you.
All the best.
__________________
“For a long time I believed the opposite of passion was death. I was wrong. Passion and death are implicit, one in the other. Past the border of a fiery life lies the netherworld. I can trace this road, which took me through places so hot the very air burned the lungs. I did not turn back. I pressed on, and eventually passed over the border, beyond which lies a place that is wordless and cold, so cold that it, like mercury, burns a freezing blue flame.” ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia |
| DelusionsDaily
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#3
Dec 27, 2011, 05:45 PM
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Acceptance is needed. It is the only way to work past it.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Dec 27, 2011, 08:56 PM
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((((MELISSSAD)))))
Sannah is right, none of us can change the past. But we can learn to look back, and forgive anything we didn't seem to do or understand at the time. We can learn to slowly forgive ourselves and SLOWLY learn to make peace with our past and learn to move into the present and allow ourselves to live in the present in a much more peaceful way. (((((Hugs))))) Open Eyes |
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#5
Dec 27, 2011, 10:14 PM
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i understand. i know. i know your pain...i know how it feels.
it like it doesn't make sense, doesn't seem real...it couldn't have happened, or shouldn't or maybe it didn't but yet part of you knows that it did...but also you were a kid so what did you know about things to begin with so maybe it was made up...yeah been there... people don't make stuff up like this...maybe the memories & the facts don't match 100% because none of them ever do (for any situation) but i bet it happened. for what ever reason, it did. it's not right, it sucks, it's wrong, & it hurts...but chances are it happened. & it's ok if there are no words for it now. it took me a long time to get the right words for mine. there is no rush..no pressure..& it doesn't have to be perfect. when the words happen...they will be right...& they will hurt & ooze & the scab will form again. but now you are older & stronger..altho..you were pretty damn strong then too...you got thru it then..& you will get thru it now...only now you are an adult with an adult's wisdom & a t to guide & heal you. you have nothing to forgive with yourself...you did nothing wrong. they..your abusers harmed you. you were innocent. be strong. be brave. be as much as you can be now..in time you will be more...but for now it is a start... |
| Anonymous32463, pbutton
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#6
Dec 27, 2011, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
To me, this is not the diagnose to tell you that you should forgive and/or worse yet, forget. It is not even possible in the early stages of PTSD, and is sometimes impossible--period. Who is the world is going to bypass their own pain of rape, etc. to step into a spiritual code set by others? I just don't believe forgiveness is healthy in this situation until you are empowered with a renewed sense of vulnerability through customized coping strategies for self-protection, which takes empathy, time, therapy and meds. It is then, when you rise up from the ashes, when you have a renewed sense of resiliency that your self-worth can begin to rebuild a life beyond the situation, which almost destroyed you. I've had a high level of forced resiliency over the years, but when I had a breakdown in my early 60s, my definition of resiliency was in question, which made me face what I had: chronic PTSD and OCD tied to the PTSD. I knew I had to re-define what resiliency even meant. When I tried to talk this over with some of my friends, many insisted I find a "happy ending" like always, and I told them to back off. If they really wanted to be my friend, they would have to accept me as a growing into something new person they might not even like without pressuring me to be what they needed me to be. Most stuck around; but the ones who didn't were active church women who couldn't cope with 1) my being diagnosed with a mental illness and 2) my having to "resort" to meds. Their departure was my gain, for I truly had more time to seek healthier, more understanding people, many of which were outside of the church system. Now when I have mini-flashbacks, I thank my brain for getting me to a place healthy enough to learn what it has to say. Usually, I have gotten too busy during the day without resting and/or have come close to a "trigger" similar to the initial trauma. There is NO reason to accept the unacceptable. If you are discerning that you are not in a safe place, emotionally or otherwise, give yourself permission early on to flee. Children from dysfunctional homes have learned to ignore themselves like the adults in the home who have ignored them instead of providing protection. May this post give you peace that things can get better. Feel free to write me privately should you want to discuss this further. Susan Quinn |
| Anonymous32463, kindachaotic, Open Eyes
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#7
Dec 28, 2011, 12:16 AM
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^wow! Thank you!!
   Pax! theo
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#8
Dec 30, 2011, 06:15 PM
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((((SusanQuinn))))
Is a nice addition to PC. I love your positive, caring, and respectful advice. ((((Hugs)))) Open Eyes |
| Susan Quinn
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#9
Dec 31, 2011, 12:59 PM
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Thank you, Open Eyes, for expressing the connection you made to where my life journey has brought me. May all the authentic and wise people who have participated in laying the "bread crumbs on my trail of tears" somehow feel the connection of appreciation, too. We're all in this together. Susan Quinn :-)
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#10
Dec 31, 2011, 01:10 PM
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leaning on and trusting my faith, gave me freedom, not feeling lonely, betrayed, or hurt, and telling the little girl in me it was never your fault, your beautiful, smart, and a good girl.
find something that will release any bad emotion you have inside of you, cause if you don't it's like cancer it spreads into other things.l |
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#11
Jan 01, 2012, 02:40 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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