[Raindropvampire]

I just have to vent and I'm sorry for it because there's nothing that can be done now. I just found out the most horrible thing it makes me sick to the very core of my being. My uncle that abused me was a dr specifically a lung specialist. I was helping my aunt go through some stuff from my Granny's house and found out that at one point in time he worked for Riley Children's Hospital. I just can't fathom that he was able to get a job there and according to my aunt he was there for 8 years(1972-80). I literally just have a knot of sadness and disgust in my stomach knowing that he worked for 8 years with sick and often dying children. I've been crying off and on about this and it's stupid because it was so long ago but those kids go there because it's a miracle hospital and they are so sick they shouldn't have had to deal with someone like him. No child should but especially not kids just fighting for survival. I want to make a special trip just to spit on his grave again. What sickens me the most is people in our family knew what he was and they let him work there instead of notifying the hospital and warning them. This is why I never help with family crap and sorting through stuff. I'm so glad my I don't have kids our bloodline needs to just die out.

It is sick and I know how you feel, I think a lot of these pervs have contact with kids over the years, I know my dad and brother did and it makes me so angry that I often want to scream, What drives me mad is that people think they are saints

I was told that my dad wanted more than 7 kids thinking about it is because he wanted to abuse us, but he had to get the snip cos 2 were disabled 1 died at the age of 15, I am not sure if he abused him but the thought of it makes me sick to the stomach.

[Raindropvampire]

Exactly! Everyone who remembers my uncle just talks about how kind and generous he was and what a good christian he was. How much worse off the world is without someone like him in it and I just want to rupture my own eardrums so I don't have to hear it. Knowing this makes it even worse. How do you prey on sick dying children? And how can you be that sort of person and hide it so well?

[madisgram]

pedoes use the persona of being acceptable to hide their real motives.
families who ignore the truth imo are dysfunctional. they are afraid to acknowledge the truth cause they feel it reveals their own dysfunction. i call it 'the pink elephant in the living room'.
they choose to not validate you or others who know the truth about your uncle.

[pbutton]

This is awful, I feel sick about it too.

And it just hit me as I was reading this that this is probably the reason T asked me for background when I told him about my uncle. He asked me what he did for a living and how old his daughter is now. It didn't even cross my mind at the time to wonder why. Guess that is certainly a sign that T believes me. Holy crap.

(((((((((((RDV)))))))))))) Pedophiles are usually inordinantly charming sociopaths...most of the men in my life have been pedophiles...ha? "Gaslighters" hey? They can convince anyone of anything...........you gave me lyrics to (TRIGGER to anyone reading this...no trigger sign in regular smileys)Tori Amos

Cohen song "Silent All These Years" The beginning of one version is about a man
"who says words so beautifully, women just give themselves to him" I posted it in pods.

You know this. You introduced me to Tori.

((((RDV)))) atrocities abound in the world.......always have...but it's not ever "Too late to do anything" for us...we can, we do get past this...

much love-----------theo

[needfixing]

i believe there is a heaven and hell and i believe your abuser is in hell.
you reap what you sow.

[Open Eyes]

Unfortunately there are way too many people who choose to turn a blind eye to much of the wrongs that take place in humanity, all kinds of wrongs. He/She who chooses to stand up often stands up alone. Most people consider their own personal safety, and even social or political standing within a community. If a person's personal standing, wealth is in anyway at risk, they will fold and deny and turn a blind eye.
I have seen this take place over and over in so many ways, more than I could have imagined. Families of a man as your speaking of wont come forward because they know that if this man gets caught they will get sued and lose everything. So they don't talk.

Even in my own life, I have seen children, horses, animals suffer abuse, others see it happen and choose to pretend it never happened. People from all walks of life do this, one person who I witnessed do this was a minister and psychologist. I sat and talked with her about how a horse trainer was neglecting his children, the situation was bad, she would NOT get involved, continued to have her daughter be trained by this man to ride horses and chose to continue to ignore, ignore, ignore. I was the only one at that facility that took my horse out, brought it home and called DCYS and reported the abuse. After I did that I was ignored, considered an outcast and someone who was at fault, can you imagine? On top of that, these same people accused me of wanting to have an affair with this man and only left after he refused my advances. This man was and still is, short, fat, bald, obnoxious, disgusting beyond belief, WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT HIM IS BEYOND ME.

My gift was not only him going around passing inappropriate comments about me, but he stalked my daughter at the horse shows and stood outside the gate during her competitions making constant efforts to intimidate her. As well as he had one of his student (the daughter of the minister) email my daughter pretending she was someone else to get information about my daughter. She also hacked into our computer, got the names of my daughter's friends and pretended she was my daughter and said awful things to my daughter's friends getting my daughter's friends angry at her. Then, hacking into our computer, got a hold of our credit card number and charged pornographic materials, purchasing them with our creidit card.

This is one reason why for years, I didn't like or trust computers and am still behind on what I know about them. I still wont bank online or charge or shop on line either.

Yes, people from all walks of life choose to ignore and turn a blind eye. This is exactly why many of us suffer in so many ways, even economically.

I have and still stand up, however, I am pretty much alone when I do that.

I will say that after a while the other trainers noted the bad behavior of this trainer that was stalking and taunting my daughter at horse shows. All the trainers would go to the ring my daughter was competing in and they all would stand by him and push him away in defense of my daughter. And he eventually was thrown off a show ground when he was caught leaving his handicapped son in a car for many hours alone and his son crapped in the car and was smeering it on the windows trying to get out. Finally, this man is not respected by pretty much ALL professional trainers and even horse veterinarians.

Open Eyes

people don't see what they don't want to see. the old saying..ignorance is bliss truly does work.

my uncle was 3rd in charge of the nyc police dept back in the day. & he was an abusive bastard. no one saw that. raised a son who was a pedophile priest.

when my father needed $$ because he was on strike with the railroad he went to my uncle (which i am sure killed him)..my uncle..the standard of good, all that is right in the world, good catholic man said yes i will loan you $$ if you give me your daughter. so that is how i went to live with my uncle for a while. my parents sold me to the highest bidder where i was abused again (still).

all the years later, all the family events nothing was ever said about it...it was the elephant in the room...same as with the cousin who was "wrong" even as a child..but yet they encouraged him into priesthood.

i think people just don't want to acknowledge the big ugly secret...the one of what is viewed of huge moral failure...so they ignore it & hope it never rears it's ugly head (but it always does in some fashion0.

me? i address it loud & proud. the only way i feel the abuse will stop is if everyone knows about it. obviously being quiet ain't working....i tell people about the rapes, abuse, being sold, torture..everything. i do not shy away from it. it does not define me but it is a part of me.

so yes it is to late to do anything now for those children he might have hurt but it is not to late to go to the hospital & talk with them & let them know...make them aware...

i spoke to a class of medical students on child abuse & domestic abuse while my mother was still working at the hospital. outed her..right then & there. there are plenty of things you can do to honor these children & help make it right.

[Open Eyes]

stumpy is so right, and instead of hiding it, she has bravely chosen the option of letting it out, even if that means she is exposing "family secrets". She has opted for self empowerment, verses continuing a lie just because it reflects on her own family. People often are under the impression that "family" is sacred and things that happen in the family should stay in the family. But as long people are brave like stumpy, we will start to look at our families differently, we will begin to choose to speak the truth for the sake of others who may also struggle.

Eventually, with more people truely talking like stumpy, someday there may be a possibility that that information can be talked about in schools with children. Children are addressed by police officers that speak to them about remembering their names, and if a stranger approaches, turn, run, make lots of noise. I remember the police coming to my daughter's school and the children all gathering in the auditorium to learn about strangers. However they left something very important out, the dangerous people than can even be in our homes, even be siblings or a family friend or relative.

Anyone that touches or harms inappropriately, and the depth of that personal invasion SHOULD be addressed in my opinion. Children need to be empowered with the knowledge of what is wrong everywhere they go. They need to know that they have every right to ask for help. Everyone has the right and everyone should know where they CAN go where they will truely get the help they need.

Open Eyes

[Raindropvampire]

I have confronted my family and I'm very open about what happened. It's how I found out that almost the entire family knew and yet did nothing.

I had to take the weekend to process the information. Then I started a few fights asking how people could know and let him work there. My aunt basically said it wasn't her problem, he had to have a job and if he were to do anything they would fire him. My mom said it wasn't her place to get him fired and she'd moved out of state by then. By the time she found out where he was working he'd been there 6 years so what was the point? My grandparents are both dead so couldn't ask them. My other uncle still claims he had no idea until I had my breakdown that his brother was "that way". Their other sister made me so so proud to be related to her because her excuse was at least it wasn't her. Right now about the only people speaking to me are my husband and little brother. Apparently I'm not supposed to ask these types of questions or talk about what happened so now I'm the bad person.

I will go talk to the hospital but considering it was over 30 years ago I don't know what they will do with the information. Maybe they will look at their candidates a little closer. I don't know.