[geez]

I have a huge knot in my stomach. I'm going back to school for a new career and my first class starts tonight. I'm a bit nervous about going back as now (compared to before) I have two kids, a husband, home, responsibilities. Not sure how I'm going to juggle it all but I will manage I suppose.

The college I'm going to is two streets away from where I lived for two years at the age of 5- 6. Where I experienced CSA. I have been back to 'visit' the old neighborhood before and I've since been to the college and haven't had any anxious feelings. Now I feel like a wreck. Please help me get through this day. I'm sure it will get easier but it doesn't feel that way right now. Can I have some pocket riders? Pretty please?

[granite1]

jumping in.i went back to college as a sinlge mom and it is so hard but doable.i wish you luck.i use to look at going as me time away from everything exsept classes

I think what you're doing is transforming the "place", the area, the land, from where something bad happened to where you will reclaim your life. Your return to that land, which of course was only a bystander in what happened, symbolizes a return to claim a part of yourself that will be with you on this journey to your new life. I think that you can do this signifies that you have really healed.

Congratulations on your new career. I have always worked while I've had my family, and it isn't always easy, but I find that work enriches family life and vice versa.

Anne, thinking good thoughts for you as you begin

[Sannah]

I'll come geez!

[skeksi]

geez, you are not alone, in more ways than one! (I just started classes today, too)! I like 3rd's idea about transforming the setting. You are there now as a grownup embarking on a brave new journey, with so many people who "have your back." I hope it goes smoothly and that you feel in control while you travel through a place that holds some bad memories.

[geez]

Thank you all so much for the support! I was really nervous about going but it turned out alright after I got to class. The class I'm taking is in nutrition and oddly enough the professor is in charge of my state's school lunch program (I've been lobbying for better food in my towns schools). In short we had a nice chat after class and she said we could learn from each other. The overall experience last night was/is very weird.

I'm traveling by the neighborhood that I once lived and there's that little girl inside that was so afraid. And here I am as an adult wanting to change my life yet again and it's like I'm peering through the window at the little girl when I'm traveling by the road she lived on and she's peering through the window staring back feeling sad and alone. Such opposing viewpoints. Thank you all for listening and being there.

[Open Eyes]

(((((geez)))))
I am glad to hear that you got through your day, the more you realize that you can do it the better that little girl in you will feel. That little girl is always with you, growing and learning too. Everytime you make a decision to take over your life, you are telling that little girl she deserved to be loved inspite of the bad that happened so long ago.

(((((Hugs)))))'
Open Eyes