[edelgran]

I don't know why I tell this, it's not really abuse, so i do not know why i bother you. I guess I just need to get this out.
My parents got separated when i was 11, things went downhill from that point until my grandparents had to take care of us. We (me and my brother) used to go to that church earlier, but now we practically lived there.
They constantly told us how our mother should have taken an abortion, and when i got 13 they decided that I was behaving satanically. Therefore they started this regime with daily sperm tests under my finger nails and lie detectors.

Once when i was really misbehaving they forced me to take caffeine pills so i did'nt manage to sleep before it was around 5 in the morning. I would be waken up at 8 and i had to chop wood for several hours. This went on for a week.
The only reason i ever got, was i should not question the lord's will.

This sounds like abuse to me.

[edelgran]

I don't know, when i think of abuse i think of violence and rape, and i have never experienced anything like that.

Abuse comes in many forms...you should not have had to go through this.

[JLarissaDragon]

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. It sounds pretty abusive too me. Thank God most churches are not like that. In fact my experience has been that that they are generally some of the most positive and caring people I know. Evil, sadistic, and abusive people can be found there occasionally too. I hope that you will be able to talk to a counselor and maybe let them know what is happening. (((Hugs)))

[Callmebj]

edlegran, this is the types of Christian people who are not healthy and whole. As the other posters said, this was abuse! Like brookwest, I am a Christian also. I get so angry at some of the folks that are so misguided in their beliefs. You see a lot of them on T.V. and of course there are the real hard-core , filled with ignorance...they give Christianity a bad name. hugs, bj

[BrokenNBeautiful]

someone misused their religion on you and abused you with it.

I am also a survivor of religion abuse.

so sorry.

caffeine pills! OMG...

Billi

[edelgran]

I guess I've pretended it to be normal for so long that I convinced myself it was. I currently see a therapist for depression, so i gonna talk about it to him.
It's just 1.5 years since i left there, so I am not christian now. Maybe I can try later, but currently I can't withstand the idea of going to a church, I am sure it is positive sides with it, 2 billions would not believe in it if it was only bad. But right now is way too early.

[ArchieNZ]

I'm also a survivor of religious abuse. You are not alone <3

[needfixing]

you were emotionally, mentally, and verbally abused.
JESUS doesn't do that, you were miss informed about how JESUS loves you unconditionally.

[taylor43]

I was abused by Christian extrememist. I know Jesus would never ever do that. Im so sorry you where abused (((((((((((Hugs)))))). Please tell your t when you feel comfortable to.

[edelgran]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that
I seriously don't want anyone to experience it.
Maybe i'll tell my t about it next session, but how? It's so overwhelming.

[Callmebj]

Is this a new revelation to you edelgran? If so, it can be difficult to discuss for you.
For your T. it's likely a problem that he has seen many, many times. Religion can be
so misused and often does happen with very fundamentalist type (maybe even well meaning) that won't be new to him/her. You might tell of some of the less embarrassing situations you were exposed to on the guilt level and work up from there. The main thing is your staying in a comfort zone with what you feel able to expose. Your feeling guilty as you know stems from the reactive horror your family put you through. They placed a large burden on you by signaling you should be ashamed for being human. They are guilty, you are not. Hugs, bj