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#1
Mar 13, 2012, 03:15 PM
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xXTRIGGER WARNINGXx Sometimes I have fantasies about being abused or even about being raped. Anyone else ever dealt with similar? I have a history of childhood abuse and sex addiction, but I was never raped.
__________________
"Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming. The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time, and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened. No matter how committed we are to unkindness, selfishness, or greed, the genuine heart of bodhichitta cannot be lost. It is here in all that lives, never marred and completely whole."
Pema Chodron |
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#2
Mar 13, 2012, 05:01 PM
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Mhm. Your history reads exactly the same as mine, too, lol.
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 autumnleaves
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#3
Mar 13, 2012, 05:47 PM
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Thanks for the response! I'm glad I'm not the only one.
__________________
"Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming. The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time, and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened. No matter how committed we are to unkindness, selfishness, or greed, the genuine heart of bodhichitta cannot be lost. It is here in all that lives, never marred and completely whole."
Pema Chodron |
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#4
Mar 14, 2012, 12:04 AM
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I honestly dunno what to tell you in terms of dealing with it, though. Lol. My coping mechanism is an open-minded boyfriend, but a therapist might be wiser!
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| autumnleaves
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#5
Mar 15, 2012, 04:03 PM
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Autumnleaves, you are very much not alone in that. I posted about it not too long ago actually on this forum... I fight every day for those fantasies not to control me. :/
But yea, it's normal. I have about as much advice as Shayatanica. Shayatanica, an open-minded bf isn't a bad way of coping.  Just make sure it doesn't get out of control (though I think you know that)/
__________________
"You can't hop a jet plain like you can a freight train" - Gordon Lightfoot "It starts with light, and ends with light, and in between there is darkness" -I forget "Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight" -BNL
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 autumnleaves
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| autumnleaves
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#6
Mar 15, 2012, 05:06 PM
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Hahaha TRUSTTTT MEEE, Switch. I've learned over the years how to sort the assholes from the genuine men who are focused on your happiness, not your usefulness. : )
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| autumnleaves
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#7
Mar 22, 2012, 12:54 AM
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Me too. I've had this, too.
Billi
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
| autumnleaves
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| autumnleaves
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