[geez]

Just when I thought it doesn't get any harder to find a new T who can help me with my journey this get's dropped on me:

I am going to find my abuser (CSA).

I told my parents (I will be 40 this year) that I wanted to find the abuser in the neighborhood. She told me she would help me find out his last name and she would ask my dad if he remembered the abusers last name.

This is what he said to my mom: He couldn’t remember Richard’s last name and he didn't want to bothered with negativity.

I confronted my dad yesterday on the phone:
He told me he couldn’t remember Richard’s last name. I told him that according to my mom he said: “I don’t want to be bothered with that negativity”. He confirmed that’s what he said and I told him calmly that as me being a parent I would want to do all that I could to help my child. His reply was: “I want to keep all negativity out of mind.”

I got my answer and I've never felt lower.

[Sannah]

Geez, I'm sorry . But you know that this was why you had the upbringing that you had. Your dad sounds selfish. It is hard to feel the full force of our parent's dysfunction.