[Girlio]

When I was a child I was sexually abused by a friend of the family. My problem is, my most clear memory of it is anything but. I remember everything very distinctly, EXCEPT for my body. Its almost like my body wasn't there. I could tell you what was happening on the TV and out the front window and I could tell you about the bird that would land on the tree outside, but as for what was happening to my body? It was like it wasn't attached to my head. Because of this I have a hard time talking about the abuse because when I try to all I can say is that I don't remember. Not remembering it 'right' or 'correctly' makes me feel like I'm insane. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

[2bme]

Yes. I was told it is something that can happen when the memory is suppressed. A suppressed memory doesn't just mean it not being there. I have memories of ca, but in the beginning it wasn't happening to me. I was an observer. After the initial trigger that set my therapy about abuse in motion, my T helped me very slowly to open it up in my mind. Still very young on the road to finally dealing with it. Did you tell your T about your body being missing? They have quite good ideas of how to get it out! Sorry I can't give a quick fix, but you don't have to feel insane or alone. Good Luck.

[Purple Heart]

Hi Girlio

The reason you can't remember is you probably have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) caused by the sexual abuse. You were so traumatised that your conscious mind shuts down so you then have no conscious memory of what happened. Through therapy you can get in touch with the sub-concious mind so as to unravel what exactly happened to you so that you can then heal.

[RainbowRoad]

I hear you. I've experienced this, too.
Just letting you know,
you are not alone.

[jenluv]

I also experience this. My experience happened when I was 8 or 9 and I didn't remember it until I was 19. I still (20 years later) don't remember it all. I can see the trees and the sky and I know where I was -- but I'm not exactly sure what was happening apart from some small details.

[pbutton]

You are not alone. I remember only small, strange details.

[Ardmore]

[Sannah]

You might have dissociated during the incidents so your mind/feelings were not attached to your body. This is a common way that people survive traumatic events.